By Chandra Moseley, Special to CNN
Editor’s note: Chandra Moseley is a working, single mom. A resident of a Colorado city, she makes sure to expose her daughter to small-town living through weekly trips to the Rocky Mountains.
(CNN) – My daughter, who is 5, was identified last year as "gifted.” Well, I honestly had never properly understood what being "gifted" meant. I naively thought, "Oh, my baby is so advanced, she is just so smart!”
For those of you who are truly unaware of what being gifted means, let me help you understand.
Gifted students are defined by the National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC) as those who demonstrate outstanding levels of aptitude or competence in one or more domains.
The part of the definition that’s missing - and what I so desperately needed to understand - is the social and behavioral issues that may come with giftedness.
For one thing, my daughter, Nya, is a perfectionist. She gets frustrated even if she only slightly draws outside of the lines. She also gets unnerved by certain loud noises (buzzing or toilets flushing) and even the seams on her socks. I’ve had to turn her socks inside out because the seam on her toes irritated her so much. I thought she was just being fussy.
I became aware of Nya’s giftedness through Rev. Regina Groff, a family member’s minister, who noticed the way Nya was coloring when she was just 2. Rev. Groff has gifted children of her own and recognized Nya's frustration each time she drew outside of the lines. That type of frustration and overexcelling is all part of the perfectionism characteristic of being gifted. Just that simple act of frustration revealed her giftedness at the right time that day.
Photos: Inside a 'genius school' in 1948
There are other characteristics of giftedness that for many, including my daughter, are telltale signs - excessive energy, unending curiosity, emotionally advanced, early and superior language skills or a need for perfectionism. Gifted children might have supersensitivities, and that’s what was going on with the loud noises and her socks.
Rev. Groff suggested getting Nya tested and recommended an early childhood education public preschool that has a program for gifted children. Her children attended the same school, and she could not say enough good things about it. I was in the process of trying to find, as many parents do, the "perfect preschool.” Thank God, I listened to her advice and pursued that specific school. I am a firm believer in the notion that God sends people into our lives to guide us, inspire us, lead us and teach us. Rev. Groff guided me that day into the right place my daughter needed to be, and Nya continues to guide me into the right place I need to be.
Nya, which means fulfilled wish, has always been extraordinarily special to me. She was a gift from the day she was born, delivered to me by another vessel. Nya is adopted. I sometimes have to remind myself of that because she couldn't possibly be any more like me. In what I thought could be only one miraculous event by her being born, she continues to produce miracles and forever enrich my life. She has not only taught me what unconditional love feels like - how to laugh until your belly aches, how to play like you are the silliest person in the room - but also how to be so aware that every challenging moment in your life exposes you, teaches you and prepares you for something to come.
I remember Nya’s first year of preschool. What could have been a 10 minute homework session (yes, homework in preschool) turned into an hour and a half of erasing and rewriting each word until in her mind it was perfect. Let me tell you, there were many pencils being thrown across the room (not by me), breakdowns, and crying (yes, some by me.)
What I didn't understand at the time was her constant quest for perfection.
Her amazing teacher, Brenda Natt, explained to me that it is all part of being gifted and that was the very reason Natt cuts off all the erasers of her pencils in her classroom. She understands that her students struggle with that issue and what she wanted them to understand was that it was OK if something isn't perfect sometimes.
The same teacher strongly advised me to enroll Nya in a gifted school to prevent her from getting lost in the loopholes of a typical school program - not only academically but also emotionally. She told me, "gifted kids are almost comparable to special needs children. While their IQs are high, they have behavioral aspects that need special attention and the right teachers with the right understanding to guide them."
After four years of questions - How can Nya go from 1 to 10 over something so simple? How can she be so sweet, compassionate, mellow and then completely lose her cool over not remembering the right words to a verse of a song? Why is she such a hothead? - all of this was finally making sense. If I only knew then what I know now.
What I have learned is not to deter Nya from finishing a project or even a simple task when she’s in the middle of it. Gifted children are not all on the same page; they all have very different levels of needs, some more than others.
It has been fascinating and amusing to talk to other moms in her class and compare how they react to certain situations in the same way. I am constantly learning and trying to gain knowledge on how to help Nya be the person she is destined to be, while she has helped me be the person we needed me to be.
One of the most important things now truly embedded in my thought process is the notion that we just don't know what a child may be struggling with or what a parent might be going through. Many of us have witnessed situations in stores or restaurants where a child is lashing out or just having a complete breakdown and we are so quick to assume or place judgment on that parent.
"They just don't know how to discipline!" "That child is a complete brat!" or even "That kid is completely out of control and that parent has no idea what they are doing!"
What I have realized is that parents are all on the same team. I really wish we would start doing less criticizing of each other and do more listening, learning, encouraging and supporting. Like my example in the store, maybe next time we see a child in that circumstance, we can evaluate that situation and maybe show support by a kind smile, a glance of understanding, a sweet distraction or maybe, for some, a sincere prayer.
That’s what it's all about, right? To learn from each other and grow with each other. To continue to become better for each other, our children and generations to come.
The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Chandra Moseley.
every parent wants to believe their kids are gifted. but truly gifted kids are really rare. some kids are just mature earlier than others. so they look smarter at early age. but it doesn't mean "gifted"
People need to understand what gifted kids are all about. Thanks for these article!!!
ALL children are gifted in their own way.
No, there are plenty of dumb, mediocre kids in this society who will contribute nothing and grow up to be complete losers.
I think if you look hard enough, all kids have soe degree of talent. Not all are gifted.
I think Obama wants to take a little from the gifted and give it to the less-gifted
That was simply offensive and poorly thought out. While my expectations for the cogent thoughts of my fellow Americans is already low, when I see unrestricted Hate spewed in any forum – especially those not related to the current President of the United States (Check the news if you doubt it), I am compelled to tell you that you are tactless dull witted and rude.
Thank you very much.
Oh great, another low-information mouth breather suffering from Obama Derangement Syndrome. Get help dude.
your an idiot.
so are you.
Is there anything funnier than a moron who writes "your an idiot" ????
My 5th grade gifted kid is forced to help other kids in the class. They call it "group" work, but he is the only one working on the project and the other kids are goofing off. If the group does not complete the project, he gets a bad grade. How is this not taking from the gifted and giving to the other 99%?
I find that repulsive. A child should never be used in that way. I was, and it had the opposite effect. I was supposed to be the example of how to be a good student and instead i became bullied and hated school.
Wasn't it bush that started no child left behind, which i fondly call "no child forges ahead"?
One excellent book, "Helping Gifted Children Soar," describes it this way. "Parenting a gifted chlid is like living in a theme park full of thrill rides. Sometimes you smile. Sometimes you gasp. Sometims you scream. Sometimes you laugh. Sometimes you gaze in wonder and astonishment. Sometimes you're frozen in your seat. Sometims you're proud. And sometimes the ride is so nerve-racking you can't do anything but cry."
I am not a parent however I would imagine that what you are describing or rather what the book is describing is not only akin to parents of "gifted children" but all parents yes? Just thought I ask :)
Parenting gifted kids requires much effort in many cases as gifted children are often "MORE" – more intense, more highs and lows, more sensitivities..simply more developmental issues associated with being "different minds" that it makes them more prone to being completely misunderstood by the public.
Funny, how no one ever hesitate to use the label "gifted" when speaking about a pro-basketball player or American Idol star or Picasso-like artist, yet academic giftedness is ridiculed and cast aside as bragging and nonsense, or these kids are labeled as troubled or unsociable or nerdish or geeky or Aspie.
My gifted child is now in grad school & I agree it is very challenging indeed to provide the stimulation they need. We invested in a set of encyclopedias & my dtr would sit & read them for hours....perfectionism is also common & I had to monitor her stress levels & provide appropriate outlets. A good pediatrician can guide parents through the challenges you face & I often depended on (her) advice & guidance. Other children also don't understand the thinking processes of these children & there is bullying, teasing & hostility (jealousy) towards them. It isn't easy but a joy to set them free & watch what happens next!
I think there is a difference between a gifted child and a smart kid. I do believe that this little girl is smart. However, gifted children, smart kids, average kids should not display certain behaviours. I have struggled for years with this issue, after graduating from high school at 16, I graduated from Duke university at the age of 19, Law degree by the age of 23. I have a five year old who should be starting kindergarten, however after solving pre-algebra questions, explaining to a British diplomat at the olympics the entire specifics of the American Revolution and how he enjoys the Battle of Cowpens reenactment and enjoys reading on a 6th grade level... after all that I tried to enroll him in kinder... I was kindly told that the public school could not accomodate him so now he will be attending a special school with other five or six year olds who will be taking 4th and 5th grade curriculm. I am a successful attorney now but gifted kids are not "bad" kids. The little girl in the article is probably smart but she is not gifted.
So...you are not an intense individual? People never comment on how much energy you have or what you can get done or your drive?
I think you should watch the rain man for some understanding. You can be gifted and have what society sees as behavioral problems. Your still gifted. It is not a political or in order to join the CLUB requirement. You either are or are not. Tests for a gifted child have nothing to do with behavior just IQ,academics.
My kids are smart and gifted. Both have photographic memories. One taught herself to read by the time she was 3. Scored the top score in reading comprehension for 5th graders when she was in kindergarten (if you beleive in these testing templates). My son was so emotional about everything, extremely hyperactive, everything caught his eye. He worries about people all the time. He had a tough time with reading up until he was in 5th grade. When I found out from his sister that he was not reading well I started him on the newspaper reading the blotter and his interest in reading blew the top off the house suddenly. He can take things apart and put them back together with ease. They were average students in school because they never did their homework, and would test out of most the classes. I did not push them I wanted them to be normal. Theya re both happy now that they are adults. Thats what I wanted.
TSantiago – If your last 2 sentences are not arrogant, then I don't know what is!! If you are as smart as you try to portray yourself in your response, you should know there are different levels and types of giftedness. Just because your kid appear superior to the kid in the article, which btw, you actually know nothing about other than the indiosyncrasies the writer provided, does not make her "not gifted." Fair to say, you need to know more about the girl besides getting annoyed when coloring outside the lines before you can make judgement... Also, you miss the point of the story!
They don't just randomly look at these kids and make the assessment by licking their fingers and holding them in the wind. To gain admissions to Gifted Programs in most school districts there are extensive tests these kids go through. There are the interviews, the exercises, etc etc etc. I remember being subjected to all the weird tests. A whole day at the local university taking tests, building things, answering questions, and being left alone in a room with one big mirror to see how I responded to being alone. Blah blah blah. If the girl has been tested – odds are she's not running with the other 90% of the kids in public schools for a reason.
I think we'll trust a psychologist over a lawyer.
TSantiago...so now you have a degree in child behavior and child psychology??? NOT ! so don't make assumptions beyond your expertise. please
Like you, I was labeled a gifted child in kindergarten and, like you, I am now an attorney. In elementary school, in addition to participating in the gifted program, my teachers had me attend class in higher grades for certain subjects–initially just for reading, but then for math, and science, and so forth. When they finally approached my parents about moving me ahead a few grades, my wonderful parents gave a polite but firm "no," and also asked that I began to be transitioned back into my own grade level for all subjects. Why? Because they noticed I was missing out on socializing with kids my own age (and had probably picked up a few bad habits, and words, from the older kids). I was put back in my grade level and graduated high school on the same track as everyone else. I will forever be grateful for this decision and the fact that my childhood was not put on fast-forward. When I look back on my schooling (from elementary school clear through law school), it is memories with friends, life lessons, and the process of growing up that stick out more than the subjects I learned. I would not have had the same experience as an oddball 16-year old college student. And at the end of the day, you and I ended up in the same place.
Two very helpful resources for parents and educators of gifted and talented children are SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of Gifted) at http://www.sengifted.org and Great Potential Press at http://www.greatpotentialpress.com. These sites, and the links from them, provide a wealth of information.
I'm not saying your child is not gifted, but the socks thing and the loud noises are sensory processing and integration difficulties. You may need to look into Occupational therapy for that.
I have found that many gifted children exhibit intensities, and sometimes these are sensory. One of my two gifted children exhibit sensory intensities that have nothing to do with sensory disorders.
Sounds a little like OCD to me.
I agree with FLeejay. The initial descriptions she has described are signs of Asperger's, a form of Autism. One of my twins has the EXACT same reactions to coloring, writing, socks, sensitivity to sounds, etc... and he has Asperger's.
Sensory issues are common. Never ending energy is also common in small children. Curiosity? Then every child would be Gifted.
The person that diagnosed this child was a Reverend not a Psychologist or Neurologist or even a Pediatrician. The child should be assessed by a qualified medical doctor. I wouldn't be surprised one ounce if it was determined she has Apsergers.
My son was also deemed "gifted" by the public school system. (I believe that this qualifies them for additional funding of some kind.) He has also been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, SID and Dysgraphia. (I sure identified with the sock thing and the every-bit-of-school-work-must-be-perfect thing too) We have sought out the best routes to help him cope and understand how he views and functions in this world. We have learned a lot too. Every child is different. The important thing that we have learned is patience and understanding.
I have a gifted child myself and some times I feel I dont do enough to keep her at the highest level. Gifted boys are different from gifted girls and they also are different from one to another. Generally gifted kids are too good at something like math facts, art etc... However there are some gifted kids who are good at everything... Plays music , socially amazing, draws, sings, computer programs, dancing, base ball you name it. They are so competetive they dont know what to focus on. The first category usually are the company creators and movie stars. Second category is the hardest to manage and many of them end up ordinary, because they are jack of all trades but master of none. Seems like you kid is category one.
Gifted? Please. Everyone's kid is "gifted" now. Being bothered by drawing outside of the lines does not make your child smart. At most, it just makes him or her a little obsessive. Guess what? Everyone is not smart. Everyone is not special. I'm sure you love your child very much. I'm sure your child has many wonderful qualities. However, your child certainly does not sound intellectually gifted. When everyone puts up their kids on a pedestal as brilliant, it hurts kids who truly have outstanding academic potential. THEY should be the ones getting those resources, not children of parents who are living vicariously through them.
stop repeating that garbage about not being special from that politician whoever. I am not Mr. Rogers but every person has value. When you stop treating people like that, genocide is very easy.
Geez, Maya, jealous and/or bitter much? I don't know what article you were reading, but it wasn't the same one I did. You reaction is full of anger. Mu goodness, do you get this angry if your kid isn't picked for for a sports team or academic bowl?
They say if a gifted student is not challenged in school, they become bored and can become a troublemaker in class because of the lack of challenge and direction. It is true, especially when there are many slow and lazy "teachers" in American public schools. I have been in both Asian and American schools, there is a noticeable difference in things like the math programs. It isn't a mystery to me why America is falling behind in math and science. Put cameras in classrooms as Bill Gates suggests and watch miracles happen in the school systems. I don't really think there's that big a difference between "gifted" and bored/failing students, teachers and of course parents could do more to stimulate students, but as it is now, it's the student who suffer. But I do not buy into it that it's all parents' fault like so many teachers accuse, again, put a camera in their classroom to prove they aren't part of the problem, they have students too many hours of the day, albeit all broken up, no wonder students have ADD, the teachers do too.
Your post raises so many different issues! For one, most school systems in Asia do not buy into the concept provided by our NCLB policies. Students in Asia are tracked, and their academic career reflects the tracking. Students who aren't cutting it are guided into vocational programs, released from school to work in their family business, etc. Take America's top 20 or 30% of students, and it would be comparable. In essence, you are comparing apples to oranges.
As for putting cameras in the classroom, I for one would be perfectly accepting of that! (I am a teacher.) However it would only be fair to also put cameras in the homes of students! With that said, the litigious society we live in would not make video cameras in classrooms, or in homes, a viable option. The cost and liabilities would be far too great.
The bottom line is that parents are, by far, the most influential part of a child's education. To think otherwise is absolutely ridiculous.
The multiracial propaganda continues. The reality – blacks have a lower AVERAGE IQ than whites and mixed race children have an IQ in between the races (higher than black but lower than white)
This particular child may be very smart (there is no actual testing described in the article) but ON AVERAGE, whites should avoid having mixed race children as it brings down their IQ score.
Oh, and one more question – why isn't the little girl's father in the picture
she adopted the little girl, obviously you aren't reading the article
That's idiotic. Intelligence is measured at an individual level. Average intelligence of people of different races is totally meaningless on an individual level. A black person with an IQ of 120 still has an IQ of 120.
that's a terribly ignorant racist comment
I think the article said/hinted that she is adopted.
what a ridiculous comment
What an extraordinarily ignorant and bigoted thing to say! My goodness...
First of all, had you actually read the article you would have seen that the child is adopted. Second this article is about an extraordinarily gifted and intellectual child, who surprise, is African American. There is absolutely no difference in IQ potential between races, rather, a very clear link to socio-economic opportunity and available resources.
Please think, read, and do your research before making such categorically untrue and inflammatory statements.
You dispute the intelligence of someone else, yet you make a blatantly racist and stunningly ignorant comment which showcases your own stupidity? Irony, thy name is Bannister.
People like you should get a life.
I wish someone could wave a magic wand that would automatically publish the name, photograph, and contact information of everyone who posts a comment on a blog. If that were to ever happen, I'll bet we would see a lot less cowards like "bannister" popping up around the Web.
I do not know if this child is gifted or not, but one thing is clear, your comprehension quotient is extremely low, and your response shows that you are also racist.
Your comment shows you aren't paying attention. It clearly states the child is adopted. Also, there is no factual evidence suggesting any race has a lower IQ than any other race. These are just your own personal feelings shining through.
So why is it propaganda? The article had nothing to do with race but I guess since your IQ only allow the use of pictures that's what you gleened. As far as your comments on higher or lower IQs based on race that is a total unsubstantiated myth. If it helps you sleep at night to elevate your status because you are a few shades lighter then go for it. The "reality" is intellect comes in all shapes colors and sizes. Inbreeding is far worse and if you dont believe me then roll over and ask your wife/sister!
Bannister – You sound like a complete racist and jack a** in your comment. I hope that you aren't but think you should know how you are coming across. You are spouting of averages like that proves a correlation. Obviously not gifted.
My $0.02 is the concept of a "gifted child" is ridiculous. I have never met a ungifted child. The question is what are they gifted at. Who is to say a child exceling at math is more gifted than a child excelling at dance. A law degree at 23 is impressive but doesn;t neccesary correlate to unnatural brillance. It most likely correlates to a high level of intelligent, hardworking and a wealthy family.
This is a racist statement. And ignorant one as well. You can look at 'studies' as much as you want in regards to "black IQ's vs. White IQ's"....
It can't account for environment. I know a lot of lower income caucasians who are dumber than their african-american counter parts. Please stop with the nonsense.
Race doesn't exist. Black white, hispanic, asian – we're all the same at a genetic level – exactly the same. Same race, mixed race, put 'em all in a blender, it makes absolutely no difference to the IQ of the resulting child. Don't believe me, go look it up. There's no such thing as race.
Thank you for writing this post, bringing more attention to giftedness, and a since of not being alone. Raising gifted children can be very challenging to say the least. I love your call to stop judging eachother as parents, if only more people would take that to heart! By the way, love the Nya!
I raised two gifted children, now ages 43 and 44, one with an IQ of 149, the other well over 160. Although Georgia still lags woefully as a state in many areas of education, there were dedicated "gifted teachers" in all the elementary schools and special programs through the University. As a parent, I was always advocating for my children, challenging the system on occasion, while at the same time volunteering and being as helpful as I could.
The hardest part was dealing with a youngster who was, for instant, emotionally a perfectly normal ten year old, while intellectually operating at the college level.
Both graduated from prestigious colleges, one has a PhD, the other a M.A. and both are happy, well adjusted adults. It was a joy being their parent.
This is awesome. Congratulations!
Thank you. I also was the founder and first president of the local TAG program in my town. Back in the mid-1970's, we dealt with many of the same misconceptions, misunderstandings, and egos that have shown up today since I posted. A gifted child makes mental leaps–not always regular, or methodical, but grasps concepts far faster than most. It is not always a steady process, and it is up to us as parents and educators to be sure what was "leapt over" was in fact understood. It always puzzled me why there was never a problem in the public mind offering special education for a child 50 points below the norm (rather severely retarded) but no general sympathy for offering special education for a child 50 point above the norm.
The word "GIFTED" has become just another diluted word.
No offense to anyone here or their kids but let's face it- the WEIRDEST kids in school were ALWAYS in the "gifted" program. They might as well called it, "retard room" for these kids. They aren't advanced, they are just WEIRD.
Why would you say, "no offense" and then say something offensive? Best to not speak at all.
Ah, you picked on them didn't you? You can be weird AND advanced.
Valerie, no offense to you at all, but I think you're offensively stupid.
Obviously, your not even in the moderately intelligent category. My daughter was in the gifted program, class valedictorian, newspaper editor and captain of the dance team. She is now an tv anchor in a mid-market area. I remember haters like you were behind the stands smoking pot. While that was the highlight of your life she has moved on to bigger and better things.
As usual, when someone leads with "no offense"....and then follow it up with "but"....
They usually type a statement that is ridiculous. This seems to be the case with you as well.
Best not to even post
Ever stop and think that maybe we were weird only because you couldn't grok what the heck we were all about...?
Excellent information about characteristics of gifted chilren & a well written article. Chandra & Nya seem very interesting, and I would love to communicate with them to learn more about this subject.
Well...the definition for "gifted" is so broad that it is very hard to define it any more.
My son was identified as so and has been in a school "gifted" program through all has elementary years. Many other kids in his class went through the program according to different criteria. I don't know if seeking perfection is the one or only one criteria.
My son certainly did, and he won many awards like spelling bee, plays and solves games well, and excelled in math, piano...through all these years. However if a girl wants perfection, spent two hours to do something while others did it in 30 minutes...I don't know if she is really gifted.
She's partially autistic. She is the new evolution. She is the solution to our humanity problem in the world.
Will you be part of the problem or part of the solution?
WTH is NEW EVOLUTION?
We as a society need to change our value system into one in which ALL kinds of gifts (and contributions to humanity) are respected, appreciated, and rewarded EQUALLY. Until then, all individual struggles will get you nowhere.
that new value system is called Communism.
Even the "gift" of stealing and killing?
Communism? The communism where, historically, the rich have all of the power and the poor and all between have everything taken away? Where all will starve so that everyone is the same except those wealthy people in power? No, thank you.
That sounds very similar to what's going on in the USA.
Thank you for bringing the topic of giftedness more attention. So many do not understand some of the struggles of raising a child with a very high IQ who also responds to the world differently than others. Yes, many of these kids also have other issues like Ausperger's, ADHD, etc but in general, these children with higher IQ's are sitting in our classrooms bored and misunderstood. Our brightest minds are struggling in later years because they never learned how to work hard or they were mislabed as "emotional", ADHD, etc. They were the proverbial square peg being forced to fit in the round hole. In many states, public schools do not have the experience or knowledge of how to help educated and challenge these students in a positive manner. They are the ones being left behind now.
For those who think "gifted" is a self-proclaimed label for their perfect child are just ignorant. No matter what you call these children, they are being left behind, misunderstood and not reaching their potential because people like you think that all kids are the same.
The vitriol expressed in the comments is the reason I do not tell others that my child is highly gifted. His IQ is in the top .5%. While he is not bothered by loud noises, he is a perfectionist and gets frustrated easily. He excels in many areas including music. He sometimes has difficulty relating to other more typical kids. I insist that he play team sports. I want him to be able to work with others. It is important that he be well rounded. These kids need discipline just as much as other kids. Time outs and taking away privileges are good modes of discipline for all kids. Of course, we reason with him and make him think about the consequences of his actions too. I truly believe that those who are most successful in life are those that work the hardest.
Yeah, and I'm sure you know that from professional neuro-psychiatric testing and not some score-it-yourself IQ test or something on the internet.
Of course, he was tested by highly regarded child psychologist. I would never leave my child's academic future up to an Internet test.
Wasn't the "Unibomber" considered "gifted" too?? Most villians in history were said to be "above normal intelligence". Is this a good thing?
What are you suggesting we do with our gifted child then?
Are you kidding? Yes, being intelligent is a good thing. All the people throughout history who enabled the technology you used to make your comment are all gifted. Hardly any of them are the Unabomber.
The line between psychopaths and genius' is VERY slim. It's actually something they have studied over and over again. For example, Hitler was actually considered a genius (IQ and all)....but he chose to use his talents to manipulate and murder.
It's all about harnessing the gifts we are given, and making sure they are to do good. There is nothing wrong with what the Author of this article is talking about. I don't know whether her child is "gifted" or not, but what she wrote about was good.
And yes, it's good for your child to be intelligent. It's even MORE important the parent is smart enough to find ways to guide them on the right path, which usually means getting help, especially considering the parent may not be gifted.
Just look at some of the posts on here by people who are probably parents (which is pretty scary)
What are you trying to insinuate here? Smart people become Smart "evil" people? As a society we should strive to be intelligent and not demean other's intelligence. If anything the problem isn't intelligence, its ignorance, people who outcast others because they are different. Your screenname is ironic.
I've raised 2 children, one gifted, one physically handicapped. They are now both adults. The ignorant comments I see from many of the writers is not out of the norm (usually based in jealousy). Surprisingly the challenges of the raising the gifted child far surpassed those of the handicapped one. These children truly operate on a different plane and you as a parent must be prepared to deal with that, or they will drive you almost over the edge. The gifted child completed high school, college and graduate school in stellar fashion and has a very lucratiive and rewarding professional position. The other child completed high school and college and does volunteer work (we live in an area where having a physical disablility is the same as having AIDS, leporasy and advanced stages of nuclear radiation burns), and is working very hard to find a paying job. I'm proud of both of them, but they were certainly work.
Thank you for sharing.
There is a deep misunderstanding of 'giftedness'. Personally I hate that word. These are kids who are tested, and have high IQs. Most educators, including the one that posted, know nothing about gifted children. When my son was in kindergarten the teacher told us he wouldn't make it through first grade because he was always spacing out. We had him tested and he's not just gifted, but highly gifted which means he has an unusually high IQ. This brings many social problems and problems in the class room due to boredom. I often have people dismiss me when I tell them my son is highly gifted. All children are wonderful, but IQ is something that you are born with... I guess that's where the unfortunate words of 'gifted' comes from. These children do not get the support they need and are critical to the future of America. Many of these kids do get lost in the system, have emotional problems do to lack of support and diagnosis and are put down by people who know nothing about it. Statistically, minority people who are gifted are more likely NOT to be diagnosed or discovered. If you live with a gifted child, you know that they are not like other kids. It's a shame that people can't take this article to learn something instead of throwing around a bunch of assumptive and racist ideas.
However, the IQ a child has at 4 is not indicative of the IQ one will have at 25. Simply stated IQ tests for young children are only a snap shot at that moment in time-it is not static or predictive or valid for future results. I know this is hard for a lot of parents to hear. Look up the latest research (such as by Dr. Hoi Suen) that shows that 27% percent of kindergartners tested as "gifted" will still be by third grade.
Nya and my Juliana sound like twins. Unfortunately, because Juliana is so unique, she was bullied by a girl named Nya. I am sure your Nya is nothing like this one, well...I know for sure she is not! It is a shame that gifted children do get bullied because they are different. My girl is beautiful, talented, intelligent, and outgoing. Too bad in some cases, that is considered a threat and other girls do not like you for that. :(
It seems like it started going downhill after her mother said she's a perfectionist and coloring in the lines is a sign of being gifted. A child who is a perfectionist is also a sign of domineering controlling mother and that's how they cope ( I know this from experience). Gifted is an overused word. It's wonderful to be involved with your children as long as they are being taught everything won't be under their control to ensure perfection. Life is unpredictable. When they can't be perfect they will internalize it as failure.
I was tested at a young age and told that I was "gifted". And like Nya, I had issues with perfection- none of which had to do with my mother. My mother was and is as far from domineering and controlling as you can get.
I had the same problems with coloring outside the lines and even with my socks. I can remember as a small child taking 20 minutes to put my shoes on because the seam of my socks had to be just so. I can also remember as I got older having emotional meltdowns over not making a 100 on a test. It didn't matter if I made a 99, I became distraught. And NONE of this was a result of my mother. She would try to console me and tell me that there was nothing wrong with not making a perfect score and she could never understand why I was so hard on myself. Looking back I'm not sure why I was either. The quest for perfection was something I couldn't control and my mother couldn't calm.
I wrote also and that was my experience. I was writing songs, poems and was advanced for my age in nursery school. Graduated from college with all honors. Am I "gifted"? No. Being a perfectionist can prevent someone from being successful, I had to learn to let go of control.
You know what? Kids are weird. They get obsessive over weird things. Sometimes they grow out of it, sometimes they don't. It doesn't mean they're brilliant.
...And it doesn't mean they're not.
In some cases perfectionism can be caused by parents being controlling and pushing too hard, but when it comes to gifted children, perfectionism is often one of the first signs. Being so frustrated about coloring outside of the lines comes from a disconnect between what the gifted brain can perceive and what motor skill development will allow. And, when this happens, it doesn't matter how many times you tell the child that their picture looks great. My child found that simply insulting, since, in his mind he knew how it "should" look, but his fingers couldn't control the crayon to get it there. But, what I find so sad is that so many people commenting missed the point of the article entirely - we are being encouraged to open our minds and support each other as parents. This means not immediately assuming we know more about this child than her own mother! I'm glad she's shared her experiences, and hope it brings more people into respectful conversation about the differences of gifted children.
Smart teacher in the class cutting off the erasers. As a school district occupational therapist, I get called in quite often for consult in the gifted program and the private gifted school in my district. Many of those referrals are for the issues described in this blog. In my experience many of these kids are so focused on the things they are good at they obsess over them until it is perfect. Handwriting is incredibly neat but slow, ideas get lost because the kid writes so slow. These students also often struggle with attention, organization and attempting things they are not so good at-which leads to melt-downs.
I highly recommend parents read the book "Nurture Shock". I firmly believe all kids deserve to be challenged in school, and shouldn't be hinged on a single testing in the early years as all kids develop at different rates.
I agree with OT. most of the gifted kids i heard at early ages are girls. because girls are just matured earlier than boys. Gifted at early age to me means mature earlier comparing to the kids with same age. it doesn't mean they truly can do things older kids can't.
if a kid can accomplish things older kids or adult can't, it is truly gifted. IQ test is temporary indicator. boys can always catch up later.
sorry to spoil the gifted party.
It's sad that the typical, shortsighted responses to a child being labeled as "gifted" are found in the responses here. For those saying either "no one" is gifted or "everyone" is gifted – I agree, the label "gifted" is somewhat unfortunate in that some inevitably take it as implying that those without the label don't have their own gifts or abilities or values, which is not true. However it is what it is and the absolute fact, whether you like it or not, is that some people are born with special, heightened, advanced intellectual abilities. Does anyone here question that Usain Bolt was born with special abilities and gifts for speed, or that Michael Phelps was born with special gifts that allow him to be such a dominant swimmer? Why do we celebrate those freakishly amazing abilities, and yet look scornfully at anyone who has a child with freakish intellectual abilities as a braggart or delusional, or say that anyone could be just as smart if they tried hard enough? No matter how much I train, I will never swim like Phelps or run like Bolt. In the same way, there are people who, no matter how hard they work, that will be able to do intellectually what some of these gifted kids are capable of. Whether or not they live up to their "potential" is another matter and that is what we parents of gifted children struggle with daily – providing them with an environment that allows them to do so, when most school settings do NOT provide the challenge these kids need. My daughter at age 5 was reading 200-300 pages a DAY in chapter books. After trying to convince the teacher to provide more challenging books in the classroom (the books available in the class only went up to a certain level) I finally had to send in my own books with her to school so that she could be challenged and engaged in her reading. My son, at age 5, was doing multiplication and fractions. Is it appropriate to make him do pages and pages of addition and subtraction worksheets? We need to use more common sense in education, it should not be one size fits all, and we need to look at EACH child's strengths and weaknesses and allow kids to soar in areas that they can soar in, and help them in areas they need help with.
We as a society need to change our value system into one in which ALL kinds of gifts (and contributions to humanity) are respected, appreciated, and rewarded EQUALLY. Until then, all individual struggles will get you nowhere.
@Giftedmom, one answer could be a Montessori school, if you have one available in your area. Many famous entrepreneurs have gone through that program. As one who dealt with the same issues when I was a child and have a daughter who is working through it now, I am a firm believer in each child finding their own way with help from parents. Best of luck to your children!
It's not the kids who are braggarts or delusional. It's the parents.
Maya, why so bitter? There are certainly many cases where parents think their children are more gifted than they are, just as there are many cases of parents thinking their children are better athletes, performers, artists, etc than they are! But there are also parents out there genuinely struggling with meeting the needs of their gifted students in a society that has a lot to learn about being gifted. To say that they all just braggarts is simply ignorant.
To add to what Laura said – It's true that some parents of gifted kids are braggarts but I have certainly have had my fair share of encounters with parents of "non-gifted" kids who are braggarts so don't just assume all parents of gifted kids are braggarts/delusional. I personally feel like I almost have to hide what my children accomplish for fear of being labeled as a braggart, which I think is kind of sad – why can't we all be proud of our kids' accomplishments, no matter what level, and share them freely? When my kids were in public school (now they are at a Montessori-style school that allows them to work at their own pace) I also had teachers who were in such disbelief of what my kids could do that I also felt I had to hide some things from them because I could tell the teacher was annoyed by my assertion that their curriculum wasn't challenging enough. It is a struggle of both gifted kids and gifted adults to try to fit in sometimes, and sometimes at the expense of dumbing ourselves or our children down to do so.
I also reaised a gifted son who acted out in school because the teacher in fourth grade wanted the class to grow beans, which they had done in all previous grades. I ended up taking him out of a school system that would not provide for him and home schooling. We did this in a very relaxed way and, at 33 yrs old, he is a great success in his field of endeavor. In fact, at 16 yrs old he went to work for Sprint and headed a group of people in research and development. We have to stop labeling and start advising, teaching and helping. Lots of these kids are fully aware of themselves and know what they want to do with their lives. Let's feed that need. Expose all children to all sorts of wonderful things and see what happens.
Chandra, as you see in some of these comments, there are lots of ignorance related to what being "gifted" really means. As the mother of 2 gifted kids (one who is highly gifted), I relate tremendously to your story. And since my kids are older than your daughter, I can tell you that the excitement continues as they develop themselves. There are a few things that we have done as parents that have helped our children. For example, we help them manage their high energy through physical activity. Swimming has been the sport that has worked the best so far, even though after a 1 hour and a half practice my daughter still has energy to ride her bike half hour more. We do a weekly trip to the library to get stocked with books (my son reads one book a week, and sometimes he reads so much that he would rather starve than stop reading). We try as much as we can to involve them in family decisions to provide them space for arguing, even though there are a several limits that are not negotiable, including bed time (yes, my son has trouble quieting his mind before bed, reading helps, screen time does not). If the arguing gets to much as your daughter gets older, joining a debate team is a good way to channel that. Their sense of humor is also different and highly misunderstood but their peers, and sometimes there is social isolation. Joining activities with other gifted kids helps, but there are a wide range of interests among kids, and finding another gifted child does not translate into a friendship unless there are common interests. In summary, this is a very tiresome business, so Patience, Patience, more Patience and Love. Best wishes!
As a former gifted child myself, I am so glad for your children that they have someone who understands them. My parents did, too, and I wouldn't be who I am without them. They helped me adapt socially over the years (though there were definitely rough patches). Middle school bullies are cruel, especially to gifted kids who they perceive as 'know it alls'.
Be sure, though, to get your kids into activities that have other kids of all levels of educational capacity. Swimming & other sports are great – team sports are key! I did acting as a child, which helped a lot in teaching me how to express myself to others and working with a group.
Also, don't be surprised if they also struggle when they get into the 'real world' after college. That was the hardest transition for me. I don't fit well into the typical office environment – it's too limiting for me, and it's the first time I've found I've ever 'failed' at something – I just cannot succeed in an office environment. I'm working to find a career that suits my personality and strengths, and I have realized that it won't be in an office building at a desk. My parents never understood that, and tried desperately to get me to accept a business-related career in a traditional office setting, which has been a constant source of frustration. But luckily I have found a wonderful man who supports my dreams and who I am as a person, and I will be spending the next year trying to do things my way. Try to be that supportive person for your kids when it's their turn.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It is very comforting to read the first part of your comment. Have you explore the academic environment for work? I am putting that into the table, because one of the reasons I work at a university is that I am convinced that I will not fit in an office environment. Well, having been majored in Science is a plus for me. Also you may like to explore the leadership arena. Try Daniel Goleman's book "Primal Leadership: Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence", which believe it or not has been also crucial for me in becoming a better Mom.
this article is dead-on accurate. right down to the issues with the socks and the doing and redoing of schoolwork. I question whether these things are unique to the gifted, however. I've got one who goes to gifted classes and one who doesn't. While the "gifted" one displays these behaviors more often and with greater intensity, my other child has had similar episodes. Your article has caused me to want to read more on the topic, so thank you for sharing your personal experiences. A final note: are people really so angry and incorrectly wired that they have to rage in a forum like this? Offer something constructive or go back to your miserable existence.
Your daughter sounds like she falls on the higher end of the Autism Spectrum. You might want to see if she has Asperger's. I work with gifted children and many things you felt were "gifted", I do not normally see.
Wasn't the "Unibomber" considered "gifted" too?? just a thought...
That is exactly the same thing I was thinking. I was in a number gifted programs growing up and reading this article, I was starting to wonder if "gifted" hasn't become an euphemism for some forms of Autism.
I know I'm looking on my childhood with rose tinted glasses, but my mother and sisters feel free to regularly embarrass me with my childhood gaffes and this kind of behavior doesn't come up.
I do think it's extreme, and not present in all cases, but there's a fine line between forms of autism and being gifted. People who have autism are often highly intelligent and just unable to deal with social interactions. Being gifted often results in social awkwardness, too.
Or maybe, we are now just including everyone who has a slightly different social personality on the autism spectrum. Studies show the number of children with autism is significantly higher than just 10 years ago. However if you were to go back into schools 10 years ago, those kids were just considered "different" or "unique". Now we label them with a disorder or whatever you would like to call it. I have a close friend whose 9 year old son is severely autistic. He cannot speak, tie his shoes, or use the bathroom on his own. Does this sound like the little girl in the article? Not in the least. She can function fine, and there is little to no mention of her having problems adjusting to social norms, which could be considered one of the main "indicators" of autism. This little girl might have some signs of OCD or even ADHD, but I do not think autism shows up in her behaviors at all.
I have 2 sons with Autism and Nya sounds like Asperger's to me too.
My sister has astbergers desease, and she is very very smart. Shes not "retarted" as some people have said about her. She just has bad social skills. I remember i used to be jealous of her not having to open a book and knowing everything in it, and id have to read everything ten times just to get it drilled into my brain. I had more of the commen sense and i always knew how to start a conversation, my sister on the other hand had issues with that. We had about the same friends, because i intorduced them too her and they all accepted her for how she was. There were some people in high school that picked on her because she was different. I used to get so mad about this and they voted her into homecoming queen as a joke. and believe me when i say i tracked all the football team down and told them exactly what i thought about them. That day came where she had to walk across the football field and every single one of there jaws dropped when she strutted her stuff and showed everybody up. I was never more proud of her till that day. Now sense shes been in college shes found alot of friends, and is alot more open minded with people. she went through alot of things, but she overcame them and i am so proud of her. Its like this, people are always going to be different and noone is the same. We all can do something to help somebody, and people who pick on other people because there different only do it to make themselves feel better. I feel sorry for those people because they have there own issues too. Ive always been the kind of person to treat everyone equal, but i will stand up for the ones that get picked on. So all of you that are saying negative comments on this page. I'll pray for you. and god bless.!
I have four children, two of them being identified as "Gifted" the other two considered "average" What I have learned and I think every parent should... is that EVERY single child is amazing at SOMETHING! One of my "average" children is on an athletic scholarship while one of my "gifted" children is struggling to get through high school. We're all amazing and special, right from birth – you have to try everything before you know what you are amazing at. Gifted, Average.. whatever, they are simply words, labels.
Right on Bin Tex!! Each child has special talents so it is a parent's responsibility to identify and work that talent when the child is developing into a mature adult. I have 3 sons, the oldest was identified by the school as 'gifted' but at the time I thought it meant 'smart' and let it be... he developed his own talents and is now very successful in his business.. The youngest is very bright but refuses authority in his various endeavors and is now a drifter and out of touch with his family. Who is to determine at an early age what the outcome will be, but to guide the child as best as can be done.
Every single parent in my children's school thinks their kid is "gifted" – it has become such a commonly attributed descriptor that it has lost its meaning.
Whenever I hear some parent blabbing on and on about what an Einstein they are raising, I just smile and nod my head and try not to throw up on their shoes.
Sounds like the kid's first marriage will last about two months.
We spend too much on the disabled education, much of it becomes baby sitting. Sadly, this is at the expense of spending on the gifted. Autism and mental retardation will be cured by gifted. Spend more on the talented..
TexDoc you're an ass. My 5 year old son has cerebral palsy and is also deaf but he is smarter than you ever will be. EVERY CHILD has their challenges!!!! Reading this article breaks my heart because if this woman thinks that she has it that bad I would hate to see her have a child with a disability. She's complaining about her daughter getting upset about the seams on her socks! REALLY!!! I wish my son could put his socks on by himself. I get that her daughter gets frustrated which gets the mother frustrated but this will pass. This mother doesn't have to worry about her daughter going to college or being able to support or take care of her self. Parents with kids with disabilities have to worry about those things. AS FOR YOU TEXDOC... Just because you have a disability doesn't mean you are incapable of learning and living a productive life!!!!!! If I had listened to the doctors and not had been proactive in my son's life he would be sitting in a wheelchair and unable to communicate. BUT UNLIKE YOU I saw promise in my son. I took him to PT, OT and speech since he was a year old. I pushed him to be his best. I bought a book on sign language and taught him. He just started kindergarten and has already meet 80% of his goals for the year!!!! His school, which has a class for the deaf, is amazing and I am TRILLED that they have used some of their resources to better the life of my son!!!!!!. AS HE WALKS WITH HIS WALKER DOWN THE HALL TO HIS CLASS, AND HE SMILES AND SIGNS TO ME "I LOVE YOU MOMMY", I KNOW THAT HE WILL BE JUST FINE! Being gifted is a wonderful thing, but it sure doesn't make you happy. Even though my son is classified as developmental delayed he is HAPPY and he is SMART and his EDUCATION IS CERTAINLY WORTH FUNDING!!!!! And even though he is not "gifted" he has certainly been a gift to me and every one that is in his life!
I feel for you. You are an amazing individual and I wish your son the best.
I was fascinated until she started talking about dealing with kids in public places. A kid is a kid. You have to show them boundaries, if words aren't getting through then some kind of physical intervention is required. Kids sometimes simply haven't developed the abstract concepts that discipline has. They do understand if you put down your cell phone and take their hand.
Exactly what I thought!
Where is the child's father? Did he abandon them??
Reading is actually a form of art, in part because the kinesthetic link between sight, sound and speech is mirrored by inner speech, inner sight and inner sound.
read again ...
The kid is adopted... read the story
Might be adopted.
... Really R. Daniels? That's you focus here? Seriously. You are being so shallow!!!
Chandra's quest to understand, observe and act upon her daughter’s behavior is what more parents should be doing. Her love and attention to Nya's character and behavior blended with faith is the true ‘prescription’ for nurturing and guiding her daughter to grow and learn to her fullest potential.
There is a lot of gray and possible determination(s) that could be made in this article, its a brief exert of one woman sharing her joys and challenges in raising her child. Maybe we will learn more about Chandra and hear about Nya's growth and what amazing things are revealed in their lives, maybe not…
Either way its a wonderful real life exert that most certainly should be shared and noted. Beautiful photo, blessings to you and your daughter, I personally look forward to hearing a wonderful, blessed testimony on your lives!
White people who breed non-whites are not to be trusted.
People that don't read the article before commenting can't be trusted (to make rational comments). Her little girl is adopted.
That is an aside from your asinine, narrow-minded, bred-out-of-fear and stupid comment.
This beautiful child is adopted, ijut! Get over yourself and leave the bigotry at the door.So what if she had been a natural birthed biracial child...what a special mom and little girl!
Your post is just that your post, your opinion, but I respectfully think your post is in poor taste. The article states the author is the parent of her daughter through adoption. If you read through, you would know the article is about dealing with a child whose intelligence is far superior to most children her age and the parent's abilities and strategies in coping with it. Being multiracial has nothing to do with any child's intelligence. Being as intelligent as she is, the child will most certainly experience a wider varieties of issues and, yes, successes, in her life than most children. Being multiracial is only part of who this child is, and it has nothing to do with the article. I commend this mother who is striving to give her adopted daughter the best possible environment for success in her life and who is striving to deal correctly with other issues that arise due to the child's intelligence. On the other hand, your comments are in direct opposition to the way this mother is dealing with her issues. Your comments reflect someone is living a life steeped in prejudice and narrow mindedness. While your comments are just that, your opinion, your comments have no place in normal conversation. It would perhaps be better to look for a forum of like minded individuals, because personally, I don't believe your comments have a place here.
Hey Forest– so I guess you feel the need to live up to your name by being dumb as a stump.
I have a gifted step daughter and a son who may well be gifted as he shows some of the signs mentioned. I live in Louisiana and for the last two years have written emails to pretty much anyone I could in the State Government (including Governor) because they were discussing cutting the Special Needs Program, which includes gifted. Luckily they did not and hopefully will not cut these programs as gifted children often have difficulty in standard classrooms.
A teacher myself, I find that children are all academically different. There is no such thing as "gifted." Every parent wants to believe their child is the brightest, but let's face it, they aren't any different that the next kid coming into class. Everyone has a special talent, a greater skill in one area than does another child. I find that Gardner's 8 intelligences are always in play – look it up, it's quite fascinating.
yeah I can tell you're a teacher, I HAD YOU as a teacher. Thing is I'm a grown up now, so I can ask you a very good question regarding this subject.
Have you ever thought of taking up brick laying as a new job???? well you should.
Oooooh! Did the teacher not make you feel *special* enough? Cry moar.
Kayce: Are there no special needs kids, either then? Each child is different, each has her "gifts"? As a teacher who may be the first person to recognize a difference that needs attending to (as our son's 2nd grade teacher did, for which we are forever thankful), you should educate yourself a little on this topic. Gifted isn't the same as pretty smart, or smarter than the next kid. And no, my son isn't gifted...
We need more teachers like you! I was identified as "gifted" when I was 7 years old, with the highest test scores in our huge suburban school district... and my parents chose to keep sending me to regular old public schools, instead of pull me out into a "gifted program."
Guess what? I got the best education I could have asked for, and learned important lessons about living in the real world that I never would have gotten in the "bubble" of a gifted program, where only high test scores are valued. Like Kayce says, every child is gifted in certain ways, and I think it's hurtful to label kids with high test scores as gifted without acknowledging all the other types of giftedness too.
then again I'm sorry for you, the best thing it ever happened to me was to get out of a system that tries to deal with a huge number of children with no care for the individuality of everyone of them, read up on the Finnish school system, might enlighten you for what you missed out on.
Hate to tell you, but you are wrong. As a professional educator previously in high school and now at the university level I have seen multiple gifted children. She is not talking about the typical parent who thinks their kid is bright. She is talking about an IQ that are so high at age five, the test is unable to measure it. Unless you have been a teacher for 20+ years, odds are you have never seen one of these children. They are incredibly rare and often misunderstood. The super sensitivity is a sign that most people don't recognize. Teachers like you don't understand it and immediately equate it to a problem child.
False, there are definitely people who are gifted. While it is true that all people have strengths and weaknesses, that does not mean that all people are necessarily the best of everyone as it pertains to their individual strength when compared to a broader grouping of people. Take for instance a high school athlete. You could have a high school athlete who plays three sports and is good at all of them, but is particularly outstanding with football. His football team is a respectable team in a good league and he is a star player on that team. At the end of the year they are choosing an all-state team and he was being considered as a selection to be on the team, but was ultimately cut because there were 3 people who ended up rating higher than him. There is no denying that he is a talented football player but when compared to other people who are also talented football players he didn't make the cut. The players on the all-star team were gifted and the players who were not selected, while still talented, were not gifted.
Kayce, it saddens me that as a teacher you are so terribly uninformed. Open your eyes or else you will be doing one or more of your students a great disservice by ignoring their potential. Do you *honestly* think, for example, that the boy in this article below isn't intellectually gifted? Let me know when you're able to achieve nuclear fusion, since, you know, no one is gifted and you and everyone should be able to do what he did:
Kayce..........perhaps you should find a new profession because it's teachers like you who have no business teaching our children.
I thing this is a better post, sometimes gifted children cause downfall of 90% kids so we should be more balanced in support. It is like spiderman theme, with great .. comes great ..!!
Thanks CNN for bravely publishing this article. This has made sense of so many things.
I think most of you posting do not know what the true definition of a gifted child is and are completely missing the point of this article. It's not to brag about her child being smart. I too have one of these gifted children and reading her article made complete sense to me. Perhaps you should look up the defintion of giftedness before you comment or make judgement on this mother. Thank you Chandra for your article.
When can we be done with labeling our children? Some may argue it helps to better serve their needs. I would argue that the labels, both good and bad, are primarily for the parents' benefit, and that our children would be benefitted most by not having their personality pathologized, and instead being treated as individuals.
You misunderstand the need to label these children. In a normal classroom setting these children would not reach their full potential and may well not reach 'normal' potential. Often gifted children in a normal classroom act out and end up failing. These children should be considered Special Needs children and given the attention they need. If everyone was 'normal' this wouldn't be a problem but because there is a spectrum of intelligence and giftedness we do need these programs. To not recognize the special needs of these children would be like treating a Down's child the same as one without Down's.
very well put.
I might be inclined to agree with you -'ofis'-.....EXCEPT.....when I was in 4th grade, I was placed in a classroom with kids who had learning disabilities.....I was placed in that class due to a "General Lack of Discipline and Focus" (that's what they told my mother). My lack of discipline was actually intense boredom due to not being properly challenged.
This was despite that fact that my math, science, vocabulary and reading tests scores were all at the 12th grade level (as a 9-year old) and that my grades were all at the highest level (pretty much straight A's).
My mother had me tested/evaluated and I was "labeled".......as a gifted child.
My folks pulled me out of the public school system, enrolled me in a private learning academy where I was able to find the proper outlet for my.....boredom.
You can say what you will.....but the label that was placed on me was not for my parents' benefit and led DIRECTLY to my academic and professional success.
just you wait for the Bully Troll squad comments.
you can't be different, 'cause it implies for them that is, that you are more intelligent then they are, and they can't live with that.
Well.....you know.....it is what it is.
Some people, you just can't explain away their need to belittle others.
Personal views are much better because they give us insight. I know the frustration and I am around lot of gifted kids but not sure if we should use the word gifted. Would you call a mutant gifted or just another possibility? Of-course public schools are not geared towards that.
Interesting the view of so many here, always trying to "reduce" everyone to the same "level" when we all are worlds apart in our capacities and capabilities. In general, PEOPLE do not take the notion of "gifted" kids with grace, more likely you will hear " gifted my a s s "
I started reading on my own at age 3, learned French and Italian by age 5 from my Au Pair's, at age 6, I blew up my father's shed, and almost killed myself trying to refine some NAFTA I found at the beach, into gasoline with a jig I “fabricated”. On my 7th birthday my whole family and neighbors landed in hospital for over a week (including me) after eating the “biggest damned potatoes I ever seen” (according to grandpa ) only because I developed my own batch of fertilizer, (damnn were them 'tatos BIG) age 8 we sadly lost a barn, after a school project went “south”, my “Volcano project” spewed “lava” uncontrollably after a valve regulating the influx of propane gas to the crucible where my lava pool was being melted, froze over. My “ Lava Pool “ was a mixture of glass, sand, odd pieces of metal melting at a temp of 1800 +Celsius. The horses survived, the barn and an old tractor did not. At age 9 my father took a chain saw to my newly built light airplane using 2 lawnmower engines, so I would not try to FLY it. My parents were pretty sure it would and I would kill myself..and others perhaps. I did break my right leg at age 11, having to spend 9 months in hospital and 2 surgical interventions on my right femur and knee, after my secretly rebuilt airplane flew...and nose dived (bad pilot I’m afraid).My father had a lot of trouble convincing the authorities that it was a horse riding accident.
The above is just a small taste of what my parents had to deal with, and I’m not even mentioning the various “phases” I went trough. Like the week I spent closed in my room trying to organize the propellers from my model plane collection into a position that would look “right” .
In school I was completely “normal” ...except for: My nick was the “crazy scientist” “freak” “weirdo” and etc, etc. My parents were called to the school almost every other week. My science teacher would punish me if I read further then we were at in the school program, it was “unfair to the others” she said. The other parents complaining that the Maths teacher spent way to much time teaching me stuff that was not even on the school program.
NO SCHOOL FRIENDS, because the other kids parents would not allow them to play with a “freak”
now that I am well over 40 I do realize that reading the entire encyclopedia Britannica at 5 was a “tad” weird.
At 13, I was sent packing to a “special” school in Switzerland, best thing ever happened to me.
My advice to parents with gifted children: Be patient. Do NOT allow them near chemistry sets ;) and FORGET about IQ tests. You cannot measure and compare a thought process that is processed with images and colors to one of words and concepts. (their IQ is apparently to low for them to understand this ;P)
About the Bullying..no advice there, I was a VERY BIG kid, and I don't mean fat. (I might have knocked and chinked few heads) (but not many) (well perhaps a couple).
Now, I really cannot care less what other people think of me..back in the 1970's was EXACTLY how it still is today !!! IF you do NOT fit the mold there's something wrong with you. Well I am not autistic, eccentric perhaps.
In Homage to MY parents and all parents that have “different” kids.
PS . HANG IN THERE KID, IT'S NOT YOU THAT'S DIFFERENT, IT'S THE OTHERS THAT ARE LEARNING IMPAIRED. CARPE DIEM!!!
Well, I built a nuclear reactor at age two, so there.
Hi, Stewie Griffin!
Nuclear reactor? BIG DEAL!
When I was three I was trained as an astronaut and sent on a secret mission by NASA to Mars, in a rocket ship I built in my back yard, to eradicate a giant alien living there, thus making Mars safe for future exploration.
hehe kind of fits the part where I'dd knock some sense into ya ..when I was a kid ;P lol
trust me I had YOU often in school, and it never ended well ...for ya. rofl
So, what do you do now, except for brag about yourself of course?
dude.. THAT was when I was a kiddie, and you say i'm bragging, if I told'ya what I do today, then your small mind would explode.
But I am a scientist in the "space" stuff thing. there ya go.
As a scientist myself, I can say with a great deal of certainty and authority, that no scientist would ever make a crass, juvenile statement like the one you just made.
You are a typical internet troll and a liar.
Mr orangeboat......I can tell you in no uncertain terms that there are a great many scientists (that I know) who would and will often respond with a "crass, juvenile statement" (as you call it.
That fact that YOU.....as a "scientist".....responded to 'mrdeepblue' by stating -"You are a typical internet troll and a liar."- bears proof to my point.
I flew the space shuttle at 2. Graduated from Harvard at 5. Won the Noble Peace Prize for Ecominics at 7.
See I can lie too.
That YOU could lie, is a well known fact.
It does not however imply that others do. see you are "gifted" too, alas you're just "normally" gifted with stupidity.
@mrdeepblue, your post had me laughing out loud! I did many of the same things, on a slightly smaller scale perhaps with my siblings. My parents had four of us to deal with and we all turned out well, working in medicine/computers/architecture. Made for an interesting childhood. Finally, I've found someone else who read the entire Encyclopedia as a kindergartener-first grader. And yes, it is unusual. ;P
mrdeepblue, lmao...your childhood sounds challenging from the parent's view, and reminds me of many stories my father-in-law has related from his childhood. My FIL is smart, inquisitive, and willing to try ideas out....leading to a few close calls such as yours. I hope you grew up in the country (less explosive impact on the neighbors)! Lastly, heredity plays a role here, and of the numerous grand kids of mentioned FIL, there are 2 or 3 that may prove to be similar! : -) Thanks for sharing!
I found the article informative, and even if you dont like it you dont have to read it or comment on it. Thats exactly what she is saying, instead of offering words of encouragement or support most people are being rude and harsh. Dont worry about the negative comments Chandra they just reflect the shortcomings of the people writing them.
From reading all these comments, it appears that EVERYONE'S child is gifted.
hell yeah !
What I really think is the case, is that this article tends to draw in parents of gifted children.....and individuals who were once 'labeled' as "gifted".
Other folks either tend not to bother with the article.....or they come on here and 'beat-up' on those who try to articulate their 'giftedness' (yes.....that's an actual word!).
Wow, a lot of people are not getting it, either the singular perfectionism of gifted people or autism & aspergers.. There are gifted children who are on the spectrum with either autism or aspergers, but there must be one or two similarities to fall into that spectrum. It isn't the same because it's not the same. An intense perfectionism is One thing, yes it may seem to be many things because that perfectionism affects many situations (like tags, drawing in lines, getting something exactly right on the very first attempt and anything else that just Should be ..well perfect) with stress or distress, but there are many more things than just intense perfectionism involved in autism and aspergers.
I can point to the example of the vastly different experiences of myself and my cousin. One of her children is deep in the spectrum and both of mine extreme perfectionists who have at least one area in which they are advanced if not gifted The meltdowns she struggles to deal with are far removed from those I have which she would not like to be called meltdowns, but were worlds away from tantrums so I will call them fits of desperation.
The crucial difference and possible tell between the two is that while it is often frustrating and sometimes degenerates into old fashioned shouting matches to get through to the gifted child, for example that in many things perfection requires much practice and having to learn something over a long period of time does not count as failing (yes I have had to scream at one and be screamed back at with return argument at least once just to get them to admit that they couldn't 'just figure it out on their own' and needed to ask for help in one subject, and spent hours of several days to pull the other from very real and actual despair at realizing that art takes Much practice), with the gifted child the coaxing and even arguments do lead to being able for them to accept that perfection must be hardwon with patience and they can adjust to the obstacle. This does not work for those in the autism spectrum and much greater adjustments must be made or the situation avoided altogether as the unbearable is always going to be unbearable and no amount of reasoning, arguing or coaxing will change how it effects them.
"but there must be one or two similarities" should be "but there must be more than just one or two similarities"
Oh please, as the mother of a SEVERELY autistic child , I get tired of people trying to ride the autism train. Alluding that ones child has autism when they maybe simply have a sensory issue only increases the eye rolls parents have to receive from others when they mention their child's disorder in conversation. Give me a call when you have to have double deadbolt locks on every door and alarms on every door and window in the house and you have to,use a key to get to every room of the house because your child will bolt out of the house with no sense of danger or awareness of oncoming traffic. Try sleeping with a baby monitor for 8 years because your child gets up at night and wanders the house and attempts to elope.
Autism programs are grossly underfunded as it is and folks seem to want to take educational resources that belong to those legitimately affected by autism.
Don't get me wrong I raised another child who was "gifted" and he had problems in school as others suggest, but I promise you raising him was a cakewalk compared to raising my daughter. Please do not compare gifted ness to Autism. In addition but slightly off topic when I say Autism I am speaking of classic autism not Asperger's or PDD-NOS
Thank you for this. My brother is a severely autistic 30 year old. It hurts to see people focus on Aspergers or young, cute little boys as the face of autism when the range of what is labeled as "autistic" is so wide that our experiences with the disorder are completely different.
Hey! You just said the same thing that my illustration of the 'worlds of difference' examples said! Only angrily and at the person who agrees with you.
My "anger" as you put is was directed at the author at this blog who brought up the sensory issues her daughter is having... We all know what she was alluding to. I recall my daughter having a complete meltdown waiting in a line somewhere and getting looks from some very rude ignorant woman.... I apologized for my daughters behavior and explained she has autism, her response, " we'll my neighbor's kid is autistic and he doesn't act like THAT!" ironically at an event that was a Christmas fundraiser festival for a local autism charity. If I wasn't surrounded by children she would have gotten some choice words, but I I just has to bite my tongue. But I digress. The author of this article is hinting at autistic features. I am aware many parents with kids that are a bit quirky insisting on the autism label just to get access to the very limited autism resources in our school,district. It infuriates the hell out of me.
The only people that are talking about autism and aspergers are the commenters. (Which was my issue as they are so completely unrelated and unlike). I realize that sensory issues is one of the main signs that one might fall into the spectrum, but it doesn't put one there all by itself. It does happen outside the spectrum, it does have other reasons and admitting to experiencing them should not make it seem as though someone is hinting at what they aren't even talking about. I honestly think you can rest assured that it's only the commenters that are making such hints.
"The Challenges of Raising a Gifted Child" – written by every parent, ever.
Based on many of the comments being posted here it seems like many are having issues with the word "gifted". Like all others it is only a word, giving meaning by the masses, which in this case many are assuming that the author is implying that her child is better that their child or even worse themselves. My recommendation is to try looking past that one word to the core of her article and at the hardships and joys that she is expressing, and at the end of it all remember that this is a blog which you can choose or not choose to read.
To the author, while my child has never been diagnosed with anything and is by definition considered normal I thank you for you words, for they remind me that on those rough days to give her a hug and smile more and above all else accept her for herself.
Thanks and good luck
klogic33 – Thank you for your reply. As the Mom of two kids that are in what the state calls "gifted" I really appreciate this article and your reply. People always assume that because your kids are "gifted" they must be easy to raise. They are not there seeing that when my first grader takes a break from reading Last of the Mohicans (no lie) he just about loses his mind that I am not exactly measuring the water I am putting in the orange joice concentrate. Or there doing kindergarten homework when we have to rewrite every flipping sentence until we are within ALL lines and it is getting past bed time. My kids are wonderful in my opinion as their Mother, but in no way does a kids being "gifted" make them easy. There are days that I am exhausted and world love to live with a 'normal' kid.
sounds like your child has you where he wants you. flips out because you don't measure something exact? tell the kid to do it himself. i bet if he has to do himself a few times, he won't flip out.
The daughter is "gifted" and "diverse." Now, you'll probably tell me she also knows the definition of "euphemism." Get help/support for her by all means (she may be borderline Aspy) but look into getting a little help for yourself. You sound a little too full of yourself for having a "gifted" child.
What clued you in? The way she identifies so deeply with an adopted kid of a different race?
Gifted, or OCD coupled with mild Aspergers? The rewriting homework phenomena and other behaviors mistakenly labeled as 'perfectionism' are often undiagnosed OCD. I struggled as a child with OCD and know this well. And the increased sensitivity to sensory stimuli coupled with high intelligence and behavioral problems sounds very much like mild Aspergers. As a gifted child with OCD and anxiety (and as an adult studying psychology and neuroscience), this may be something to look into. Being diagnosed made my life so much easier.
All parents think their child is gifted. My son's entire class is labelled gifted including my son. I do not believe this to be true. The label gifted gives some parent an idea that there child should be given special preference over the others. I find that to be a disservice to the child and his peers.
Hello! Her child was tested. Was yours?
Dev, it's "their child" not, "there child". I can see why you don't suspect your child of being gifted.
Your school or district probably uses a simplistic standardized test result to identify/label kids as gifted. My older son's school boasted that more than 30% of their enrollment was "gifted". Nope, just book smart and good at taking tests, like my son. But gifted? No.
Are you kidding me!? No parent wants to have a gifted child compared to a "normal child"! As a parent of a gifted child I think that your comments are totally baseless and ignorant! Yes every child is special but to say that parent says there kid is gifted just to boost up themselves is BS! They should rename the behavior issue as "Dev" to show that it is nothing glamorous, like your comments.
A better question is, why did she decide to adopt a child without a husband?
The answer to that question is that she clearly likes to hear herself talk, and can't be bothered by others interrupting her.
I need a "like" button for your comment Mitch..
Because she saw child that needed love, stability and support (financial and emotional) and she had the means to provide those things. By the way, the article does not say whether or not she was married when she adopted Nya.
I pose an even better question to you, "Why not? Do you have to be married to love a child without parents?"
I have highly intelligent children- yes, they have high IQs- and they all excel at school. But none of them have these behavioral problems. I think it is doing the child a disservice by accepting this behavior as "the behavior of a gifted child". Every child is different and different parenting skills are needed for different children, very true. I have two strong-willed children so I know how difficult it can be. But I do not accept bad behavior as just the way my child is. I teach them how to behave properly.
Maybe your kids while very intelligent are not gifted. Please see her definition in the article. Kids have to be tested to be verified gifted.
The comments here only serve to prove the article's point, which is that having a gifted child brings about a whole new set of problems, most of them arising from other people's jealousy and ignorance about what being gifted actually means. If you aren't an expert in giftedness or don't have a gifted child yourself you have no business calling out others who do. It's incredibly difficult to actually come out and say you have a gifted child, because these are the kinds of reactions you get. Yet if I posted on Facebook that I have a child who is exceptionally talented at baseball or gymnastics nobody would bat an eyelid. Very few people in my child's life even know she is gifted, and that is just appalling. But if I am to have any hope of her being treated equally, I have to hide her natural talents.
On a separate note, the author is very lucky to have not only a public gifted elementary program available to her, but also a preschool. My 3rd grader has not been so lucky, so the system leaves us to take up the job of giving her an appropriate education, even though they are the ones who are best qualified to do it. The continued ignorance towards gifted children runs not only throughout the parents commenting here, but among our entire education system too. It's time the government stopped ignoring our children and their very real, very complicated needs.
No, it has nothing to do with the author having or not having a gifted child. It has to do with her reasoning of why she thinks her child is gifted. All that she has stated is that her child has behavioral difficulties and is trying to rationalize them. Nya may or may not be gifted, but nothing in this article demonstrated it one way or the other. It is just a parent trying to make herself feel special and somehow this BS gets posted on CNN. Personally, I was a "gifted" child having IQ tests of over 180 since I was in 2nd grade. I never acted up like this or showed any symptoms of autism or whatever this girl may have.
Well apparently you aren't so gifted as an adult because she stated in the article that the child has been tested and identified as gifted. You were so desperate to jump in and attack that you didn't even bother fully reading what she had to say.
The testing that can be given to a 5 year old are so limited that a diagnosis can be based on something so simple as not peeing your pants. Of course I am exaggerating with that, but there is still nothing stated in the article that explains the rationale of why she can be considered gifted. All that is described is behavioral issues. Now, if there was cognitive problem solving demonstrated well above her years, eidetic memory, etc., then that is different. You would think that she would focus more on that than "she gets frustrated when coloring outside of the lines" to give a rational reasoning.
In the article she says that Nya was "tested" and "identified as gifted."
Giftedness in America is based on criteria that are determined by each state.
Colorado's rules are here in section 12.01(12)
Schools of Thought
What test indicated you had an IQ of 180? I'm really sceptical of IQ scores of that magnitude as most IQ tests with good reliability and validity have a ceiling effect at scores well below 180.
They were based on critical thinking, spacial recognition, etc. Basically being able to analyze something and pick it apart and reshape it or do simple problem solving on the fly. Obviously those are not the only criteria, but at that age it was the focus. As you get older, the IQ tests focus more on facts that you may have learned which I really do not find to be an intelligence quotient although rote memorization is a sign of intelligence as well.
KS is right. I still remember my IQ test to get into gifted in elementary school. It was a multiple choice test. It demonstrated that I could jump through the hoops they asked me to, but it's hard for me to say at that age that I was smarter than anyone else. A more voracious reader with parents that were invested in me learning, yes. But more intelligent (not just book smart) than other kids? I don't think so.
There are some kids that are obviously gifted though. It's not just the IQ test. You hear about the kids that know 3 languages and play Chopin by age 3. That is gifted. The people in my gifted classes from elementary onwards, including myself, were not that type of person.
Maybe people just don't care.
It's been my experience that these gifted children are simply at a different developmental stage at one early point in their lives. As an educator I've seen no difference in adult success for those from the gifted programs than those from the general curriculum other than the advantage/access to things the others weren't afforded.
There are several longitudinal studies that show that truly gifted kids do indeed find much more success than their peers. Your experience is not useful, long term proper studies are.
On top of that it depends on the parents and their goal for their children as well. If a parent is active enough in the child's education and makes sure that child is getting the proper education needed for their gift the child will outdo any other child.
I bet David Spade was gifted, and look what it did for him. Nothing.
To ignore actual long term experience in favor of a study is truly not a gifted trait. :) BTW I understand completely that this is "my" experience & others may have different experiences, but one cannot ignore their own experiences. I believe all students should be able to excel individually in any subject they excel in regardless of age. Our system tends to allow only a select few to excel while holding others back.
@TeechU: "To ignore actual long term experience in favor of a study is truly not a gifted trait."
You're a teacher who thinks anecdata is better than a study? Tell me more about your so-called educating. What do you teach, anyways? Basket weaving?
@Dan. And yet you seem to know David Spade exists. I'm not sure the same could be said bout his knowledge of you.
@ inconceivable! .. one thing I teach is reading comprehension, apparently a class you were not "gifted" in lol.
Probably because the parents of the children who did actually go on to succeed didn't feel they needed to share it with such an unsupportive person.
Unsupportive?! I've supported ALL the kids, yes even the "regular" ones, you know them .. the majority. This wasn't a negative comment about gifted kids it was simply an observation. Your response revealed much about you though .. psych 101.
As a kid I was identified as a gifted kid, and teachers that either didnt understand or werent willing to accept that there was a difference and push that difference instead of viewing that as someone they didnt have to help because the already go the lesson maybe the reason why you see little difference in the gifted kids you have dealt with. The public education system in its current form with its drive to only move as fast as the slowest individual so no one gets left behind has ruined plenty of kids that would have achieved even more if they were recognized ad continually challenged.
The teachers that did recognized and pushed I still to this day hold in the highest esteem, and those that were more concerned with the jocks, and helping the people that struggled even a little while ignoring their responsibility to engage the rest of class are teachers will never have any respect above that of common courtesy showed to them. While the populace needs to be educated to a basic level, those that have the ability or desire to achieve more need to be pushed as they once were otherwise our soceity will falter even more to the division between the have and the have nots.
You hit the nail on the head. Some kids develop a little faster than average, and that's all that is being measured here.
In fact, the largest predictor of future success in a child is how successful and intelligent the parents are.
In contrast to what someone else posted here, there is little if any solid evidence that being classified as "gifted" prior to school age has any correlation with future success. That is simply not true.
I was gifted. The gifted classes were boring. They were no more difficult than regular classes, just with more computers at the time. I skipped one grade, but probably would have been happier skipping three or four. (I was limited to one because they didn't want to make me have social issues. That didn't work, I was bullied nearly to the point of attempting suicide in elementary school.)
Honestly, just because one is identified as gifted doesn't mean one ends up being challenged in the educational system, and without challenge, you're just wasting the potential. It's not surprising to me that we don't uniformly end up 'succeeding' ('adult success' itself is variable– what's your metric?) with the kind of resources available to us.
I , and I stress, I , Beg to differ !
I think that those behavior problems such as difficulty letting go of little things and control issues is difficult to combat similarly to pride. I find that teaching my children how to use prayer and seek understanding of God's love and wisdom is the best way to overcome these issues.
Sounds like a load of BS to me, but then again I am not "gifted"
II find that you are teaching your children basically the same thing as "Santa Claus is real so behave or else."
"Noticed that Nya was coloring when she was 2" Last I checked, put a crayon in any 2 year old's hands and they start coloring on whatever they can find. I can't say whether this child is gifted or not, but the mother sounds like she rode the short bus and licked the windows.
Why is there a need to criticize the mom. She shared a story that can possibly someone. The old saying "if you dont have anything good to say, don't say anything", should be followed.
Check your spelling.
FWIW– The article says it was the WAY the child was coloring (in the lines, beyond normal 2 year old scribbles), not the fact she was coloring at all.
Last I checked, if you put quotation marks around something, you should actually quote it. "Who noticed THE WAY Nya was coloring when she was just 2." It appears that your window licking comments should be directed towards yourself.
What a load of tripe.
Chandra, get some counseling. And by that I mean *real* counseling from a person whose name does not start with Reverend.
All parents think their kids are gifted. Try teaching them some manners and how not to annoy everyone around them.
Actually when children are gifted it is harder to get them to do the manners. They know how to behave they just test others. My son tests every teacher he gets. My son is polite and everything, but as soon as he gets excited and is around the teachers (mostly the teachers because they are too weak long story) he can be a handful but when he is around my husband and I and other kids he is usually the best child (knock on wood LOL).
Yep, and are we now calling children with OCD "gifted"?
From a very early age, many who have come into contact with my now 4 year old son have told us how "smart" he is. It is true that he has some strong verbal and analytical skills for his age and he does seem to be different from his peers in that sense. But I have come to the understanding that he is not gifted and, frankly, I am relieved. Very, very few people meet the true definition of gifted and I think there are a whole host of problems that come along being truly gifted. I am thrilled to have a child who appears at this young age to be on the upper end of normal intelligence and ability. And I use the word "appears" intentionally because he is 4 and there is a wide range of normal at this age. Over time, his abilities may change and I am ok with that. I want him to be happy and experience a typical school experience in a classroom of his peers with a range of abilities, even if he is "smarter" than some of them. At the end of the day, he needs to become an adult who can hold a job, interact with people of all abilities, and have a meaningful and happy life. Many "gifted" people struggle with those basic things.
I was in your position 4 years ago. I thought being 'truly gifted' was something entirely different to how my daughter was, and I thought nothing more of it. We just came out of 2nd grade, and it's been the worst year of my life, knowing that I have essentially missed all available opportunities to get my child an appropriate education, because I didn't listen to the people who were trying to tell me my child had an ability I wasn't seeing. She is now trapped in a public school that can't provide her what she needs, and she is miserable there. We can't move, and we can't afford private schools, so this is what we have to live with.
If your child actually is gifted, his peers won't be the other kids in his age group. If he doesn't share interests with them, and doesn't know how to interact with them because they don't function on the same level as him, he will never fully be able to fit in with them no matter how badly you want it. If your child is actually gifted, being around children who actually are like him is what's best for him. He can still grow up to be the person you want him to be, but he'll be a lot happier doing it. If you have public gifted programs available to you in your area, at least try them out. If you don't do it now you could really regret it later, trust me.
The behavior problems sort of resemble a lack of ability to let go of little things and to control things and is difficult to combat similar to letting go of pride. I believe that prayer, learning to pray, and understanding the sin of letting little things bother you which creates a wall in one's mind and that God can break down through prayer, understanding his love and understanding his wisdom.
Oh, man. Spoken like a simpleton.
Or they resemble a normal toddler.
The vitriol in the comments is disturbing and indicative of personal shortcomings and insecurities. Her description is appropriate. Someone also mentioned Asperger's. I've found many gifted children mislabeled as having Asperger's.
My daughter had the exact same issue with the socks and with other articles of clothing. Nevertheless, she excels at critical thinking and is in the gifted program at her school.
Chandra, Nya is a beautiful girl. Disregard the negative comments here. Ignorance is bliss and misery loves company. There is no assertion in this article that average children don't do extraordinary things or that Nya is superior. Chandra identifies the challenges in having a child who does not exhibit emotional or intellectual traits that align with her age.
Finally, another mom who understands :D
Having raised two registered gifted children who are now twenty-three and twenty-one, I completely agree. May I add that my children were always very weel- behaved in public and I was complimented constantly for the manners they exhibited. That said, both still had issues with perfection, insistence of having things a certain way or in a certain order, and frustration at home. Gifted thought patterns are not the same! It has nothing to do with parental pride. Raising a gifted child is a challege every day.
Chandra, I am on the same page as you. My 8 yr old daughter can't stand loud noises (especially the toilet flushing) hates the ridges in socks, (check out Target's cheap super thin ones, very little ridges) and is very much a perfectionist. She has been this way since day one. She also has an IQ of 137. My 5 yr old daughter is showing different signs but also has the same advanced reading (yes she is doing that already) math and verbal skills. (she has not been tested) The little one has a very hot temper, doesn't like strong smells but has no problem with noise and socks. This one is less serious and likes to joke around but also throws pencils and paper when she writes something she thinks is wrong. While not a single mom I struggle with the same issues. Are they getting the education they need. Are they being challenged enough? Are they emotionally secure? Are they having fun? Questions Questions Questions. Best of luck with your lovely family. You are not alone. (disclaimer: spelling and punctuation may be wrong. Other posters get over it)
The best description of giftedness I ever heard was the one my son's school gave when he was being placed into a gifted program. They said "some kids ask 5 questions about tree, your kid asks 15 questions about trees." Relax they're just like other kids and like other kids gifted one have different needs each kid is unique. Take a deep breath people.
What a worthless article. "I really wish we would start doing less criticizing of each other and do more listening, learning, encouraging and supporting." Well I'm sorry we don't want to sit here and listen to your kid carry on and kick and scream when we are out in public. Don't bring your kid to the restaurant I'm at. I want to enjoy my dinner and your kid is really "gifted" at ruining it.
Are you having a bad day?
Her kid doesn't sound gifted, sounds like she's just a pain in the butt.
My 5 year old son must surely be gifted as he is out of control, can't discipline him as whatever you do he figures out how to make a game out of it. Yet as uncontrollable as he is at home his teacher says he is the best student, yet gets sent to the principals office a few times a year. He colours outside of lines too. He could be gifterd, or just nuts. Havent figured that out yet. Did I mention he is only 5?
If by gifted the author is implying genius then she is living in a vacuum – the child she describes here is "normal" in that almost every child that my 1st grader has been friends with thus far, has shown pretty much the same behavior the author identifies as gifted. By definition then, they can not ALL be gifted, even though each one of us loves our kids and thinks highly of them and hopes highly for them. Unless there are some true strokes of genius that are being hidden from the descriptions in this article, I am sorry but I feel that this is yet another example of an average individual overdosing on religion and believing in the ensuing greatness hallucinations. I would in fact caution for the future well being of this child.
The fact is IQ is not static throughout life and early testing (before 3rd grade) is not a clear picture of what a child's learning ability will be in later years. Too many kids are "tested out" of "gifted" programs before they blossom and too many earlier precocious kid's IQs turn out to be rather ordinary later on. Unfortunately too many gifted programs only test once, early on, and never re-test so that leaves a lot of kids out of the opportunity, and too many kids who entered early on struggling.
This is coming from an educator with a "gifted" 3-year-old. I'm not counting on him always being "gifted" but I will certainly foster what abilities he has. I work with many children in the gifted program who start to fall apart in 3rd and 4th grade because they simply do not have the learning and organizational skills needed for such a program. Parents, really you should be focusing on developing sustained attention in the preschool years, not academics, for later success.
There is NO question that some children are more gifted than others! Yes, every child is special and has their strengths and weaknesses but until you parent a highly gifted child (IQ over 141) you are in position to judge. This mother not only has the wonderful opportunity to parent a gifted child, but also a child that does not share any of her DN A. She can not think to herself – I remember when my brother had trouble with the seams of his socks, oh – I also started reading when I was two – it is a completely different parenting experience. As wonderful and amazing as it is to parent these kids, it is also difficult because of the higher levels of struggles they present. Of my four children (yes, all adopted), one is profoundly gifted and shares many of the issues here. She is amazing yet at the same time not easy to parent. Chandra – do know it gets easier as they get older! Mine is now 15 and a senior in HS! I wish we had your schooling choices.
Thank you Momto4.
I have the same experience as Chandra and when my child was 2 until the age of 6, the lining of the socks was a huge issue. There is heightened awareness and sensitivity to other things as well. It is a challenge to keep up.
Great article! This women is so lucky to have found a support system, and schools to meet her child's needs! A lot of people are not as lucky! This article is not about how amazing her child is but more how difficult it it to raise a child with adult understanding and perceptions that emotionally and physically she isn't ready to handle. The sad thing is how easily giftedness is overlooked, misdiagnosed or wrongly medicated because it isn't as well know as ADHD, autism or other better known disorders. I wish Nya and her mommy all the best and hope the education system keeps working for you!
We should note that being gifted and having ADHD are NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.
The distribution of "gifted" kids is mostly the "normal bell curve", whereas adoptees are much more likely to have ADHD (inherited from impulsive parents).
If Nya starts pushing on the behavioral boundaries of whatever school structure she encounters, she will need evaluation for ADHD.
It is a shame that such a gifted child is being pulled down by a religious parent. If she truly loved her child she would be given a secular eduation.
I wish the child would be put into the proper programming and taught what education is meant for, but some people do what they feel is right I guess. I think education is the best thing for everyone, but you are right if she is not receiving the right education it is pointless...
How gifted could a parent be whenever religion is involved. Seriously, a cursory review of the history of God(s) will give you the answer. Future generations will look at us like we do the Egyptians, Mayans, Greeks or the Westboro Baptist church!
Well the mom isnt gifted the child is and the child is adopted :D
Also, I do believe Richard Dawkins stated "There is no such thing as christian children only children with christian parents" (not sure if it is quoted completely or exactly but you get the point LOL)
I agree Joanna, Dawkins is correct. I know it's about the child & the mother isn't gifted, just a bit of sarcasm for fun. ;)
You should appreciate history and historic eras a little bit more, we would not get to that future you're referring to (let alone be at the point of progression that we are now) if not for them and all their people's thoughts including the beliefs.
Uh....Because public education is working so well in this country?
I bet you weren't in a gifted program.
Chandra, your child is not gifted. She suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder with a side of sensory integration disorder. You're doing a terrible disservice to her, by sticking her in an accelerated program and accepting her behavior as "normal" because your pastor told you so. What your daughter needs is occupational therapy to help her learn to integrate her surroundings properly, so her suffering will not be magnified and trouble her thoughout life.
Yeah Chandra, you should trust what some asss hole on the internet says over your own observations and those of the professionals you've been dealing with
I'm a psychiatrist with 33 years of experience with children. Not just "some ass hole on the internet". This mother hasn't done her job in fully vetting out the root of her child's particular behavior. It's sad to see that she's jumped on the Gifted bandwagon, at the words of her pastor, no less, rather than bother to check into other avenues.
Having her child enrolled in a gifted program will do nothing but feed her frustration; she needs play and occupational therapy to learn how to handle herself so that she may live a happy and fully funtional life through adulthood.
Don't confuse autism or other disorders with Dabrowski's Overexcitabilities in highly gifted children. Google it. It's fascinating. It has nothing to do with autism or OCD.
My son, whose IQ is at or above the 99.9th percentile, is very sensitive to light, touch, texture, smells, sounds...and does not show one single sign of autism or any disorder on the autism spectrum.
His nervous system is simply wired a bit differently. He is a very well-adjusted, happy, social, "normal" little guy with plenty of friends. I recognize that this is not always, or even usually, the case in the children that test at this extreme end of the spectrum, and I am truly grateful for his ability to have a normal social experience.
Before you judge, maybe you should reread and attempt to comprehend. The author stated that she took the advice of the pastor to have her daughter tested and was told last year that "Nya" is gifted. How about you focus on the fact that unlike so many parents out there she attempted to understand her daughter's differences inorder to make a her life more productive
Irsch - you may or may not be a psychiatrist, but you certainly are what Will has defined. My daughter was identified by everyone who met her (teachers, counselors, etc.) as highly gifted when she was very young. Now she's in HS and has long proven the predictions by grades and test scores. She had many of the same characteristics as Nya - OCD is very common in highly gifted kids. Highly gifted kids can and usually do have many emotional issues that can be misconstrued by hacks like you as personality disorders. It is true that most psychiatrists have very little counseling chops compared to psychologists and social workers - it's not required to have as much experience to get your license because you're an MD. So I guess you've simply misdiagnosed a lot of gifted kids throughout your career and simply loaded them up with a lot of drugs. You must have financial investments in a lot of psychiatric facilities. Go back to school or retire, you quack, before you mess up more young lives.
Well said. While Irsch may by a psychiatrist, the reality is that most general psychiatrists and psychologists only get a brief lesson on giftedness in their schooling – as little as one class session and usually only if taking a child development or developmental pathology class. (The same is true for teachers unless they went through a gifted education graduate program.) Mental health providers must take additional coursework to become specialists in an area, and I did not read where Irsch is a specialist in that area. There are psychologists out there who ARE specialists in the mental health issues faced by gifted children because they have done the research in the field and have gone through extra study to become experts. Just like you wouldn't go to a dermatologist for a heart condition, don't rely on a psychiatrist without expertise in gifted children for information on gifted children. Irsch (and any others with interest), there is a great book by Drs. Webb and Amend (among others) called Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children and Adults. I recommend it for any educator or mental health professional's book shelf. (And, NO, I am not one of the authors.)
How about we throw away the books and the labels and the psychs and spend time with our own kids- listening, guiding, teaching, and mostly enjoying them
This article really describes my childhood. Unfortunately, my schools and parents didn't understand the social and behavioral issues like this writer thankfully did. I remember getting tested in school for days because I would spend hours on homework in the 4th grade and so my teacher thought I wasn't bright. Had the school talked to me about it, I could have explained that I understood the homework, it just took hours because it had to be perfect. The teacher got a bit of a surprise from the test results. My mom would take advantage of my perfectionism and make me clean above and beyond my regular chores and would admit it was because she knew I would do a better job than my brothers, who didn't get the extra chores. No one understood why I would get so upset and angry if something wasn't perfect. My mom always would think I couldn't possibly understand something and would talk down to me. I had a very hard time relating to people and social conversations bored me quickly. I felt very different from all the other kids and my family. I got put into all the gifted programs at school and the honor society. When I got into the job market I got promoted quickly and often but I struggled to understand why most other people weren't perfectionists or didn't understanding or see things that just made sense to me. It took awhile but eventually I came understand these issues and how to work around them. Today I consider myself extremely lucky, because I think I have been able to really succeed in life and be happy because of my detailed oriented nature despite occasionally still struggling with some of the more difficult aspects.
I couldn't have said it better, Jenny.
hang in there :) same here
Raising gifted kids is exhausting on an emotional and physical level. My middle child let me know nap time was not for him by taking off his diaper after pooping, and either smearing it on the wall or rolling his poop under the bed in his room, having figured out how to climb out of his crib at about 14 months. When he was a little older I couldn't put him in time out because he would just get up and walk out the room. So I would put him outside for time out and he would throw rocks at the window. Now he is 12 and exhausting. He goes to the principal frequently. He is not a bad kid, just mischievous and his high energy and thirst for knowledge and new experiences is draining. His gifted brother has completely different issues which are also draining. Life with GT kids is a battle of wills. It is like having teenagers from the very beginning.
How does smearing feces on a wall and throwing rocks through windows equate to being gifted?
Ha, suppose that is quite funny on further reading of my post! He is gifted but I think it showed at young age that he was thinking outside the box and being creative, strong willed and questioning authority – the point I was making is that it can be tough raising a GT child. They can also be more prone to severe depression. Sadly it wouldn't surprise me if James Holmes was GT but used his intelligence in a profoundly dark and heinous manner.
Doesn't sound like gifted to me. Just sounds like bad behavior. Am I missing something?
Yeah...whatever. My 5 year old son is gifted. He pees in the toilet bowl instead of around it.
When my daughter was in 1st grade, she was identified as "gifted" and put in the gifted program at school. When I went to her 2nd grade parent/teacher conference the next year, the teacher said that the program was taking about 6 of her kids out of the classroom for an hour a day, and was interrupting the lessons she was teaching. Would I pull Megan from the gifted program so she would have more time in classroom with her? Sure... "you're the boss, applesauce!" I was the only parent who agreed. The other 5 kids' parents threw a fit!! You want to take MY LITTLE EINSTEIN out of the gifted program?! I think many parents get too tied up in their children's accomplishments.
Well, actually it is not about flaunting your child it is about giving them the correct education and actually allowing them to use their potential. that teacher was wrong for what she did. If your child is truly gifted you give them the education that is needed and possibly even boost them up a grade. My son gets bored in school because he is not getting the education he needs and honestly this bothers me because being educated is the best thing in the world and I am sorry you felt you had to remove your child because pf the teacher.
That was years ago. She's 17 now and has done well in school: no boredom, takes AP classes, and participates in sports and activities. I don't feel that she missed out on anything by being removed from G&T. I'm a strong believer that the teacher should be able to manage his/her class, and having 6 kids leave for an entire hour every day means they're going to miss something (2nd grade teaches some of the basic building blocks of reading and math–and G&T doesn't cover that!). No regrets here.
ok .one could argue that.you're definitely NOT gifted...
The child appears gifted on some dimensions,but there are some other issues involved as well that Mom is confusing with giftedness.
I agree. Being gifted does not require being what this parent identifies as being a perfectionist. Perfectionism can come in many forms, and perfectionism may not even be a trait in a gifted child. High IQ children may have an array of tendencies that fall outside the norm, but that is true of many children anyway. Identifying giftedness and potential is important for all children. With high IQ children it means something different, but it is no less a thing that should be done fo all children.
I was labeled "gifted" as a child. High IQ (like 130). I never really excelled at anything until I developed a good work ethic as an adult.
I have never been a perfectionist. In fact I learn far more from failure. Coloring outside the lines is always what I did.
What I have learned is we all have a gift in us.
IQ 130 is not generally considered gifted unless you excel in other areas indicating that your abilities don't line up well with standardized testing. In response to others who are saying the mom is just confusing "giftedness" for deficits - most gifted kids are not globally gifted; some are single domain, many are multi-domain. Single and multi-domain gifted kids have areas in which they are "normal" and/or in which they struggle. We are raising a globally gifted teenager (IQ > 180) and one of the biggest challenges we face is finding things the child cannot do well to instill some humility. We haven't found that thing yet - but we have found some things he has to work at in order to excel. The three younger siblings are also all gifted - two multi-domain and one single domain who has mild dyslexia.
Funny, this sounds exactly like my own experience. Identified as gifted, high tested IQ (145) went to a special gifted school. Good at everything but never excelled at anything. Aced all of the tests but couldn't be bothered with homework. It wasn't until my mid-20's that I really learned how to be diligent and apply myself to something.
Oh, and the sock sensitivity. That was totally me. Couldn't have the seams touching my toes.
What a load of c***. You poor thing and your poor, poor, child. Let's see articles about real children with real problems and Mothers who really deserve this spot.
Well, mama would have done much better if she wasnt breeding outside her race, Maybe if she picked a nice white man daddy would still be around to help rather than opening her legs to just anybody. I call self inflicted and have no sympathy.
Clearly, reading is not in your wheel house, as the article plainly states that her child is ADOPTED.
She said the girl was adopted, fool.
clearly, you are NOT gifted. Please actually READ the article before you make such a stupid comment.
This child was ADOPTED. Do you know what that means?? Please tell me you do!!! What rude thing to say!
@irock Perhaps your mama made a mistake by conceiving you then giving birth to a racist. Your contribution to this commentary is to spew out hate. I suspect you just can't help it – probably because of your racist and tragic upbringing, talking about 'meeting some nice white man'. What purpose do you serve? Race had nothing to do with this – no evidence AT ALL. Get help FAST before your hatred and racism destroys you and your family.
If you had bothered to READ the article you would have read that the child was "ADOPTED". Your insensitive remarks were not needed or wanted. This article is for people who are actually concerned about their children and trying to do what is best for them. My child is gifted as well. She was reading at 3 years old (like I was). It is exhausting because they are always asking why and if you dont answer they will go and find out why. All the teachers conferences were the same. She is doing excellent in school but she wont shut up. She is preventing other kids from finishing their work. I asked if she was finishing hers and the teaches stated " yes, she finishes her work in a few minutes and is waiting for others to finish and starts talking". Which was obvious to me that she is bored. I looked strange at the teacher and stated that perchance you should give her MORE work to do or something that is MORE CHALLENGING. I swear the teacher had a dumbfounded look on her face. I have found that there is some really good teachers and some really bad ones and it is a crapshoot on who you get. So I suggest you either put them in a private school or put together your own curriculm and teach them at home. You are much better off and so is your child. You can handle the socializing with dance, girlscouts and other activities.
Can you read? The child is adopted.
I think you missed the part where she adopted Nya. It's evident reading is not your strong point, but I'm really glad you understood the picture.
haa you prove the argument FOR abortion, you're the one that WAS NOT aborted.
All these "gifted" people yet I couldn't help but notice I have no flying car yet.
Its a conspiracy :D
It is because they are ruined by the school system before they ever even had a chance.
Autism is Gods way of equalibrium .
Wow, that's a dumb comment.
This could be an Onion article. Really.
Chandra, please read NurtureShock. By labeling your daughter as gifted at such a young age, you are doing her a tremendous disservice. Take it from someone who's been there.
Don't confuse autism or other disorders with Dabrowski's Overexcitabilities in highly gifted children. Google it. It's fascinating.
My apologies...didn't mean for this to post as a reply to yours. :)
Can we please stop with all the labels? What you are saying is, "Don't label my child with that horrible word 'autism' instead label him as having 'Dabrowski's Overexcitabilities.' Whatever you call it, if your child has sensory issues that needs to be addressed, and if they excel in other areas (writing, math, science) than that should be fomented. But please stop trying to shift the discussion as to what things are called – it's how we create stigma in our society and how people become labeled for life. Do you think that all children have sensory issues? Is that "normal?" I just hope that we move away from labels and provide the help and services our children need to ensure that they are can thrive no matter what strengths or deficits they may have.
I was labeled gifted very early and I turned out just fine. I graduated with a 4.0; plus participated in activities. I graduated from college and grad school. I work for a Fortune 100 company and own a business. My gifted experience was fantastic and prepared me for my future (along with great parents). If you think your child is gifted, get them tested and nurture that gift. If they are not gifted, still nurture their talents and abilities.
We need more productive citizens and entrepreneurs (the kids are the future).
Yep. Been there too since elementary school. In hindsight, really wish that I had skipped a grade or two instead of being placed in the gifted program. Would have saved me time and taxpayer money.
Anyhoo, that age is WAY too young to identify someone as gifted. I saw what happened to the majority of my "gifted" peers in elementary school – the playing field started to level out pretty quickly between "regular" and "gifted" by the end of elementary, and I ended up with an entirely new cohort of "gifted" kids by 6th grade even though we all continued to attend the same school.
My daughter was tested "gifted" in the 3rd grade, she is now 25 and has a BA in psychology and MBA in business, considering a Phd. What people don't understand is that gifted children have to be disciplined completely differently from other kids. They are on such a different level that you can actually talk to them and explain things logically but the traditional "time out" for example doesn't work. We had our daughter evaluated by a pediatric neurologist for headaches and was referred to a psychologist for followup. It was very concerning because he told us that as "gifted" children age, they have more and more issues with peer interaction. Also that she would have difficulty with relationships as well, which has been the case. The perfectionism never goes away. One trait is also that gifted kids get involved in a lot of different things and are definitely overachievers, but on the negative side, they tend not to enter into a task unless they are sure in themselves that they can master it. My daughter also has a mild case of OCD and that has made the "gifted" part of her even more of a challenge. While trying to encourage her and support her in every area of her life as she was growing up, like most parents do, you tend to end up with a person who is conflicted, e.g., "I am smart and can do anything I want," vs "no one is as smart as me," and never measuring up to her expectations, therefore, the difficulty with relationships. Gifted kids are smart beyond their years and look forward to life and all the opportunities it has to offer. But they are still immature emotionally as children and are conflicted in how to be everything to everyone and relate normally. Having lived through it and by the way, still living it, I don't know what we would have done differently. On one hand you are so proud and want to encourage them to do and be all they can, and on the other hand knowing how difficult life will be for them later, makes it a real challenge for parents. Their intelligence makes you have higher expectations of them which in itself is a stresser for them. I could write pages and pages on this subject but the bottom line is that gifted kids are as difficult to raise as those with other "special" needs.
Many people have a multiple degrees. What has she actually done that makes you believe she is so special? Written a symphony? Made a significant scientific discovery? Cured a disease? Designed a building? It's great that you are so proud of your daughter, but she sounds a bit spoiled to me. And treating her like she's the next Madame Curie isn't going to help her any as an adult. A BA in Psychology? An MBA? Hardly indicators of an excpetional mind.
This is among the dumbest of things I've read today, and I've read a lot of dumb things on this topic today. Every kid requires a different appliction of nurturing and discipline. Part of the problem is you band of numbnuts who keep trying to convince us that your kids are more special than the specialness (I know, made-up word) of our own kids. What you are suggesting is that these kids, who are so "special", should be treated differently, thus exacerating the gap between them and the rest of "normal" society. Which will result in them being singled out and, at least in some cases, beging given a harder time than most. Jesus H. Christ, grow up and raise your kids to do their best. Other than that, stop whining about how hard it is to have such smart, special kids. You honestly must live in Fairfax County. That's where so many special kids seem to reside. Ugh.
What you are calling "gifted" sounds like it is entirely caused by her mild OCD. I was in gifted too, and your description of your daughter fits me to a t. I would attribute my personal success to slight OCD. I took the subjects that I knew I would ace. I would freak out if I got anything less than a perfect score. If I got a perfect score I wouldn't really care. Have problems with interpersonal skills. I'm good at jumping through the hoops and applying myself, which has allowed me to attain the degrees I have, but to this day I don't consider myself as "gifted." I acknowledge that I am not an innovator. I'm more of a "memorizer". I am good at what I do, but I am no Steve Jobs, Einstein or Edison if you know what I mean.
From your description I think Nya has Asperger's syndrome. She's not gifted so much as she has high functioning autism.
I'm raising an Aspie kid and I didn't get that from the article at all. Aside from the intelligence there's not much simliar, course that's the problem when we start using sweeping strokes to define individuals.
Are these mutually exclusive? No.
Every parent thinks their child is "gifted."
Trust me, they're not.
Einstein was gifted. da Vinci was gifted. The 10s of millions of children who are labled "gifted" each year are not "gifted."
Einstein and Da Vinci weren't just gifted they were extraordinary. As a parent I know the difference between a child who is average and one who is not. I have a daughter who JUST started first grade last week but spent most of her summer reading nintey and hundred page books meant for fifth and sixth graders. Perhaps gifted isn't the right word but these kids are out of the norm for their peers. This article was great for me because we do often find our eldest daughter expressing extreme frustration and unwillingness to try in tasks that she's not the best in (like math). With Math she can add and subtract but she has a fear of being wrong and so will double or triple guess herself when she has it right the first time. Does she have anything wrong with her- no. Do I have a fear that she'll get into more trouble at school...yes. If she finishes her reading long before her peers she'll be left to sit quietly- sitting quietly is something no six year old does well. Our district does not offer any sort of gifted classes and so all I can hope is that she is sent to a second or third grade class for language arts.
I agree that the "gifted" label is WAAAAAY overused. These kids may be smarter than then average bear, but, as you said, no Einstein or Beethoven. There seems to be a trend that if a child is......., well, quirky, they get the label because geniuses are generally quirky. Our son was given the "gifted" label in the elementary grades. We attended a meeting of parents of "gifted" kids, and it was downright scary. I especially remember one mother who got up and said she was basically afraid to discipline her child because she was afraid of stunting his giftedness. While it's a good thing for a parent to do what they can to nurture a child with above-average intelligence and encourage them to develop their intellect and skills, there's also a danger of being too lax discipline-wise. IMHO, that would be doing the child a GREAT disservice.
Try doing some research and learn the definition. There are many criteria. Being smart is not the only criteria, as we know many kids today are very bright.
Having a gifted child is not about finding them so much more special than other children. They are different from other children, they struggle more than other children and they need special attention that other children would not normally require. I am a mother of several gifted children and believe me it is no walk in the park. They all have different sensitivities (noise, light, environment, social, food, etc.), they all have different areas in which they excel, they all have different emotional needs, they all have different discipline needs and much much more.
Some day I would love if people understood that being gifted is not about thinking you are better than everyone else, but that gifted people really do have just as many challenges as they do extraordinary abilities.
Nobody is gifted. Everyone is different in any number of ways and to varying degrees. What numeric value indicates one to be smarter than another or what is the number of inches that makes something big compared to the small? These things are created by us in order to set lines that we still shuffle around over time depending on the volume of noise and influence tossed toward an issue. Humans are obsessed with lists and measures and demand to be evaluated or to evaluate others. Nobody is gifted.
@ddm – congratulations, you have accurately produced a road map to mediocrity. Get off the PC soapbox and realize that yes, some people are better at math or art, or languages etc than others and yes, that does make them smarter in that context.
Thank you so handling a moronic statement with grace and more importantly logic.
Where's the logic in Heid Theba's reply, klogic33?
@Jim – I think you're pretty much making my point for me.... (Thanks!)
Disagree. EVERYBODY is gifted. Granted, the "gifts" are not all the same or equal in magnitude, but I really believe every person has at least one thing that they excel at. Isn't that a gift?
This little is gifted, and she's being exposed to religion? A mind truly IS a terrible thing to waste!
Gifted or not, the current education system will assuredly continue to function at best at its mediocrity and assure that whatever abilities the child has are stifled. Schools nearly all strive to get good standardized test scores and do not really teach students how to be creative, independent thinkers. The only hop is for parents to take this initiative.
zzz888: man, do u have an ax to grind w/ CNN, women and/or gifted children? i mean, it's an article on a little girl and her mother thinks she is "gifted". somehow you've turned this into a forum for political theatre! what does politics have to do w/ this story? and what does the child's ethnicity have to do with anything? i'm so blown away that whatever you read somebody is going to bring in race or politics...it never fails...
What a load of crap. CNN published this because it's a feel good story to bleeding heart liberals about a single mom with an adopted multiracial child. There's nothing in the article to make me believe that the child is gifted. Autistic? Maybe. Gifted? Probably not.
Ouch! all the hate for this child and the story? I have an 8 year old gifted child and this story rung so true for me and what we have gone through. Even the loud noises (the toilet) bring the same reaction out in my son. She (like we did) had him tested. Knowing that their brains are wired different and that it can cause a difference in emotional responses is crucial in helping these kids succeed. Shame on ALL of you for feeling threatened by a story about a mom and her child and what they are going through. It was a blog people!
Have to agree with your response......seems you nailed the essence of things.
my response was to ZZZ888....
I agree. No hate for this adorable child, but the system is gamed to confuse truly "gifted" kids with ones with OCD/Aspergers/sensory issues. I would have been better served skipping a few grades and getting treatment for my issues, which would have led to better quality of life as an adult.
Gifted? Shes 5. Lol
Chandra, your child does not have to live with sensory processing issues. This company has been developing products for that since 1995. http://www.easecd.com
Is CNN a news website? Or is it a website for parents to publish articles about how wonderful their children are. It is fine that this author thinks her child is so gifted, but maybe she should publish this on ezinearticles.com.
Jenny McCarthy called.....she suspects the child had a vaccine shot, and likely a future candidate for her dating in the jungle reality/game show
I am blessed to be the mother of TWO gifted girls. They both started college this month. One daughter is biological and the other came to us when she was 10 years old. All of the "extras" that come with the giftedness are well worth it. Both girls are loving and giving. Their social lives are just fine. I am thankful that as they started 6th grade, a school for "Advanced Studies" opened in our area. Both girls graduated high school from there. One is happily attending LSU and one is at Southeastern Louisiana University. Both are pleasant and well adjusted. It was a long haul dealing with those "extras" but SO worth it!
No one cares whether you think your children are gifted, or not. Most likely, they aren't.
CNN’s Schools of Thought blog is a place for parents, educators and students to learn about and discuss what's happening in education. We're curious about what's happening before kindergarten, through college and beyond. Have a story to tell? Contact us at email@example.com