By Carl Azuz, CNN
(CNN) - Nothing is further from "Project Runway" than a college campus.
It's true that not every lecture is delivered by a renowned virtuoso, and not every gathering is a frat formal. But it's also true that a lot of students look terrible.
You can help the ones you know clean up a bit by avoiding these common sartorial snafus.
Wearing pajamas when you're not in bed
It's hard to say when jeans became too dressy. It was probably sometime in the '90s. That's when people turned to Zubaz. (Zubaz were conceived when Hammer Pants mated with a zebra or one of its predators.) If you wore Zubaz, you might as well have been wearing pajamas. Hence, pajamas in class.
Here's the thing: No woman ever looks back on her college days and wishes she looked worse. Why do you wanna start behind the eight ball sleeping through Psychology 101 in Spongebob PJs?
For your high school prom, you paid $25 for the ticket and dressed to the nines. If you're gonna spend $8,000 a year on higher education, don't dress for Hulu and cold pizza.
Not covering your butt
If leggings alone don't - and they don't - two things are gonna happen: The girls in class are gonna make fun of you, and the guys in class are gonna make fun of you (but in a dirtier way.)
You're in class to learn. And even if you're there to attract guys, they're college guys, so you don't have to try very hard. Wearing yoga pants outside of yoga is trying very hard.
It's true that guys fall behind in this area, too. While jeans are actually designed to cover backsides, some folks would rather wear them on their thighs and let their boxers bring up the rear.
A belt is less costly than disgrace.
So the "bottom" line here (get it?): If the garment has a place for your butt, place your butt there. And if you wear it to sweat in or sleep in, don't wear it to your lecture. That way, no one will have to lecture you on looking clothed.
Not sure who told you these looked good, but they don't. (If you disagree, see the picture above.)
Look, mandals are fine for the cruise, the beach, the pool, and the shower...'cause even a "fun guy" doesn't want a fungus! Heh heh.
But unless you attend the University of Miami, cover your toes. No guy has sexy toes. Some say that no guy should. The girl in sociology who thinks you're cute isn't gonna swoon for feet. And if she does, yikes.
Ugh. When did Tucson become Siberia? Your feet have never been cold enough for tundra togs.
Lindsey Davis at Dailycollegian.com calls Uggs "this generation's sweatpants." It's true that they're comfortable. They're nice and secure and warm. They're kinda like footie pajamas.
But if they're all you ever wear, then you're gonna be every girl on campus. Is that who you wanna be? Of course not.
Nothing makes a statement like a skullcap. And that statement is, "I'm too lazy to put water in my hair."
For winter semester at Syracuse, these are fine. For cage fighters with cauliflower ear, these are more fine.
For guys who use them to solve bedhead, these are not fine.
Socks with sandals
Oh, come on.
Wearing the same jeans/shirt/shorts 3+ days in a row
This is not a sartorial issue. It's an olfactory one.
I know you don't care what people think. You are your own man/woman. You are a pioneer. You are an island.
And you will remain one if you stink. Your philosophy professor may wear a five-year beard, smell like a middle school gym and take you to a higher intellectual plane. But your body is still down here, and other students have to sit near it.
Many of today's commercial washing machines take credit, so you have no excuse. Three days in a row? Just say no.
The 26-year-old male model who's wearing a quart of airbrushed makeup and posing by the art building is working. So is the woman photographing him. They work for the Gap.
Now maybe you also work for the Gap, but not as a model. And I guarantee that lime green polo with the collar sticking up isn't working for you.
There is at least one entire website dedicated to the type of guy who wears a popped collar. Don't be that guy.
I managed to do this my entire freshman year. My feet weren't just tortured with Tevas and socks. They were tortured with Tevas and argyles. (One girl hung out with me out of pity; the rest kept their distance.)
My guess is that you're also guilty of at least one of the above. And that was fine for high school, assuming it didn't violate your dress code. But you're in college now.
It's true that discovery is all part of the college experience. Women will discover that guys love plaid shorts, sleeveless shirts, beer logos and burping. Men will discover that women can also be disgusting at an 8:45 a.m. lecture after a late night.
But one thing everyone should discover: the benefits of cleaning up. It's always good thing, even if it means wearing something your mother likes to see you in.
Got any bad memories of what you - or "this person you knew" – wore in college? Share them in the Comments section below.