By Donna Krache, CNN
(CNN) - The Cranston, Rhode Island, school district banned father-daughter dances and other similar parent-child events after a parent complained to the American Civil Liberties Union.
The parent said her daughter felt left out of a father-daughter dance because she does not have a father or a father figure in her life.
Cranston's superintendent responded by banning parent-child activities, including father-daughter and mother-son events.
Superintendent Judith Lundsten said, “I truly believe that no one intended to hurt anyone’s feelings with this, that they wanted to be inclusive, but they also liked these traditional-type activities.”
In an interview with CNN affiliate WPRI , Lundsten acknowledged that finding that balance might be “tricky.”
The ACLU released a statement which noted that the matter has been “amicably resolved with school officials over four months ago.” The organization stated that “The school district recognized that in the 21st Century, public schools have no business fostering the notion that girls prefer to go to formal dances while boys prefer baseball games. This type of gender stereotyping only perpetuates outdated notions of ‘girl’ and ‘boy’ activities and is contrary to federal law.”
In a letter to partner organizations, the Cranston superintendent said, “Under no circumstances should we be isolating any child from full participation in school activities and events based on gender. Please be all-inclusive in scheduling your events.”
Reactions to the ban have been mixed.
Where do you stand on father-daughter and mother-son events? Do you think schools promote gender stereotyping through activities? Share your perspective in the comments section.
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The girl scouts in my area used to have father-daughter camping weekends....since many girls don't have dads they changed the name to someone special and me weekends.....
People, come to 21st century. Truly ask children what they would prefer? Besides, schools in my opinion are for education and character building. Dances and other social activities have no place in school. Keep it to your churches, temples and social clubs. I don't like schools celebrating Halloween, Valentine Day, Christmas etc., I am deeply religious but would like no place for it in public. It is parent(s)' place to teach children about societal practices. These activities becomes an escape for teachers and students from the core objective of school.
Really, social activites have no place in school? You rare proof positive that d u m b people are making the rules. If a school wants to hold a party good for them. If you do not wan tto participate well good for you to.This mentality of trying to offend no one leads to everyone being offend. Stop this madness!!
live: "People, come to 21st century."
YEAH, COME TO THE 21ST CENTURY! WHERE YOU MAY ONLY BELIEVE WHAT I WANT YOU TO BELIEVE, AND YOU MAY ONLY DO WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO.
You can't be this stupid.
Agreed. These father-daughter dances in school are basically a distortion. Western tradition is for this happen in a wedding. The conservatives twisted this in to "purity-ball". Even in public schools this becomes a hype. Pretty soon in few years even in those conservative private schools that host these events it would become mere symbolic. Because, the dance is not going to stop what kids want to do. Rather educating them about virtues and parenting them more closely...like making sure where they go and what they do..ensure they are home on time. It is not difficult to control them at the same time giving them freedom. I like those towns that have curfew for kids up to 18.
We are not living in 15th century to create an opportunity for out boys and girls to mingle. There can be fun activities with scope for talent development, rather than spending few hundred dollars for one night.
Wrong headline AGAIN CNN – should read "ACLU sues over father daughter dances"
The ACLU publicly supports NAMBLA (national assoc for man boy love). No BS – look it up. They support men raping boys...but dads can't take their daughter to a dance. Does anything else need to be said about ACLU? They are freaks.
This is total nonsense, Muffin72, and you know it.
Of course Muffin knows it... utter ridiculous nonsense!
Google it. Sadly he is right. The ACLU is a joke.
Good. I never understood the purpose of Father-Daughter dances. It's one thing to bring a family member to a dance if you can't get a date or just dancing with a family member, at a function, but the ritualistic aspect of a Father-Daughter dance is creepy. And "Purity balls" make me wretch. If my Dad was ever that obsessed with my se-xuality, I'd find a trusted adult and ask for help. Children are not objects. They aren't props in the melodramatic fantasy worlds of adults.
Eeeeek, I felt an emotion! I'm going to sue!!!!!
You are so right....so what if they don't have a father...some people don't have a mother...some people can't see...should we outlaw reading? This is the most pointless, stupidAz thing I have ever heard of.
The ACLU has no business being a part of this. Isn't it a shame the child felt "left out". When there is no father to give the girl away at her wedding is the ACLU going to take the world to court and get marriages stopped? What about the father/daughter dance at that wedding? Gonna end that tradition too. The mom is just an ignorant B who doesn't care about anyone but herself, which because of organizations like the ACLU, is OK in today’s society. I feel sorry for the families of that school district.
Dude – please. Don't over exagerate the discussion.
We're talking about young children and their ability to feel incuded in school social events.
Your marriage example has no place in the discussion. You obviously hate the ACLU. Take that hate to a more appropriate forum – would you please?
typical ACLU.....total B.S. and the school administrators have no backbone(or common sense) to tell them to get a life...and a real job.......amazingly ignorant thinking....
The two worst cancers in the country right now are the far right and the far left. While I feel sorry for the girl, I lost my mom when I was nine. I taught my kids and I teach kids at the school I work at is life is not fair. Life is what you make. This is political correctness on crack or is it meth, either way this is just a small part of the biggest problem facing this country today. Frivolous lawsuits, We want to get this country going again have congress past common sense tort reform.
This kind of thing truly upsets me. Cancelling the function isnt going to bring this kids father around. she won't stop feeling 'left out' of the joys of a father-daughter relationship... she'll be reminded everytime she goes home. False solutions get us nowhere. Now she'll just be the fatherless girl who ruined the fun for everyone else.
Can we vote Rhode Island out of the union?
Its so small just put a fence around it
Let Connecticut annex it.
great, now all the kids will hate her for ruining their fun when there might have been a nicer solution. Does she have any friends whose fathers would take her too? or let the mother wear a suit for the event in place of the father, making light of it. She is going to get a complex, and maybe a power complex at that, able to have power over hundreds of students, etc. I have to add that I don't think it is a liberal agenda, really. It sounded conservative to me and a bit extreme.The school must not have been very committed to parent-child events if they could just nix them so completely. Or the mother could have just taken the daughter out for a special night of her own that night.
Pretty soon tall people will have to walk hunched over so not to offend midgets, ohh i mean the height challenged people
And people will have to hide there arms as not to offend the limbless, ohh i mean the touch challenged people.
Skinny people will have to wear padding as not to offend the fat people. ohh i mean the horizontally challenged people.
And Smart people will have to act dumb as not to offend the freekin idiots !
END OF LINE
Exactly what Kurt Vonnegut warned about in his short story "Harrison Bergeron".
"every American is fully equal, meaning that no one is smarter, better-looking, stronger, or faster than anyone else. The Handicapper General and a team of agents ensure that the laws of equality are enforced"
Read "Harrison Bergeron" by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. It takes place in 2081 and "equality" was forced upon all of us, and enforced by agents of the US Handicapper General. The strong were burdened with bags of buckshot, and you spent two years in jail for every pellet you are found to have removed. Everyone wore masks so the ugly would not be made to feel inferior by the look of a pretty face. The intelligent had ear implants, tuned to government transmitters which, every 20 seconds or so, would send out a sharp noise to keep smart folks from taking unfair advantage of their brains. Scarey stuff and it looks to me like we're way ahead of schedule.
the aclu is full of gays with inferiority complexes. They hate family, success, normalcy.
While I don't agree with the ACLU on this, my father died when I was 9, where does the gay comment come from? Really?
And just how well does mom think her lil girl will be accepted by her schoolmates now?
Whats next? Banning fathers from walking their daughters down the isle since she doesn't have a father or father figure to do it for her?
A father-son dance would be graciously tolerated by the gay liberal left.
You are so right on that. forget the rest of us just don't let a kid with no daddy (and where is her btw) or a gay get their feelings hurt! Just throw away everyone else's rights to save the feelings of a few nutballs. All hail the ACLU.
Thank God there are no gay conservatives or you losers (no, it's not spelled "loosers", no matter how many times you TeaTards spell it that way) would look pretty hypocritical.
Please ban all animals because they remind me of my dog Skipper who ran away when I was 10 and it breaks my heart.
YOu crack me up LOL
I cannot watch any television because every female I see reminds me of my dead mother. Please ban women from being in public so I suffer no emotional distress whatsoever.
This is exactly why so many people resent the liberal agenda....banning all student -parent activities because one kid doesnt have a daddy....how sad for all the kids being punished because of one liberal's selfishness....progress indeed, chalk up another one for the aclu
ITA
Wow, yet another example of total stupidity and political correctness run amok in our society. Sure, let's eliminate everything so the kids who have moms and dads get nothing and this one poor kid won't have hurt feelings. I'd like to slap the person who complained as well as everyone involved in this moronic decision. Why don't they just eliminate father's day and all books about fathers because we don't want some kid to feel bad. Wow. That parent is doing a huge disservice to their kid because they will grow up thinking the world will cater to their whims and needs. Give me a break. Isn't that exactly the type of thinking that has created all the spoiled brats we have already? Puh-leeze.
Locally the rumor is that the mother doesn't know who the father is. Let's just ruin it for everybody then. Typical ACLU BS!
Wow. Her daughter should be taken away and placed in foster care, hey, maybe then she'd get a daddy and the rest of the kids can go back to parent-child events.
Instead of crying about your daughter not having a father, why don't you go find him? I'm sure you had something to do with him leaving. Thanks for taking those memories away form our daughters.
lmao. That;s right Maury will test dozens of people until they find him for her. LOL
I can't even imagine how much crap she bi*%hed about at home if she's doing this over a dance. I'd leave too!!
Perhaps her father passed away, you dolt.
Doubt it. She just doesn't know who the dad is! Such a good example for her daughter!!
Once again the will of the majority is over run by the will of the minority.
Why does Rhode Island always make the news for news for stuff like this? And as usual the friggin' ACLU has their nose in our business about it.
This is really a gay issue... They can't stand real families.
Can you imagine how that poor girl must be feeling right now? The solution is worse than the problem in this case. I mean, everyone at her school and neighborhood knows she's the one who triggered the ending of traditional family activities at schools in the District. Those who don't like to baseball with daddy or dance with mummy will appreciate her, but, on the other hand... she will take some heat from those who didn't. Political Correctness becomes a cancer for society once it ignores the most uncommon of all senses: the common sense. Do not limp in front of the lame one; do not pretend to be blind in front of the blind one, some author said. She hasn't got a father figure, so everybody must act according to her misery. Go figure. This world is ruled by sick people.
Absolutely! However, common sense is hard to find these days!
The district had no choice but to fold. If you don't give in, you get sued. School districts cannot afford to lose money in court cases. Money is strapped as it is. This story sums up America. If I can't have it, neither can you. If you do, I'll sue. I really don't want to work, I just want everything given to me.
I strongly disagree. The district could have changed the wording of these events instead of banning them altogether although I would not have even given in that much. We need to start standing up to protect the rights of the majority before the minority takes over and we totally have to subject to every jerk with a different opinion or feeling. Seriously, America has become such a joke due to stuff like this. Wake up. It starts with banning peanuts, now fathers, what is next?
they did change the wording when the mom complained. it was at first called the me and my guy dance, not father/daughter. and when the mom complained they invited her and changed the name of the dance to bring the adult of your choice. how much more do you think could have been done to make her daughter feel included. her daughter went with a guy to the dance. Even after all that she still complained to the ACLU. The school district realized the world we live in today is one of sue happy people looking to make a free dollar. The law backs the mother so the school district had to change the policy, its not their fault. You know if they would of pushed back and she would of sued the school district and they would lose and that is sad, but their legal team was right in telling them not to take it to court and to just change the events. All these articles are making the parents and the school district look insensitive when they did in fact try and change everything to make this mom happy.
I raised my children without a father. I am remembered on both Mother's Day and Father's Day. I walked my girls down the aisle at their weddings. That's what a single parent does – both jobs. Why not take your Mother to the Father-Daughter dance? Your mother deserves the honor, and never mind being conventional.
I too raised my "3" children as a single mother and in Cranston RI.( 2 daughters and 1 son) and because the father of my daughters was not involved in their lives, their Grandfather took them several times, my male friend took them, their older brother took them..as long as it was a positive male role model in their lives and they had a blast! Lots of great memories for them. I have been fortunate to leave Cranston RI in 2000, my children are all married with children of their own and also live in other states. Feel bad for the children who will no longer get to do this because of "1"...it's very sad....and I just can't stop to question..."Does this mom have "no" positive role models in her daughters life? and why not?
I heard the real reason they banned it was because of all the grinding going on during the slow dances.
(palm-of-hand-to-forehead) Doh ! !
Why couldn't another child's father have the fatherless child attend with his daughter? My husband has taken friends of our daughter to father/daughter events. Other options include having an uncle, cousin, grandfather, neighbor, friend attend with the child. Even if this is a case of a lesbian mother, she could have asked a gay male to attend with the child. It is important for children to have male and female role models in their life. This would have been a great opportunity for the fatherless child to spend some time with an adult male role model. It is very sad that the events were cancelled for everyone. The school made the wrong decision on this one and I hope they reverse it.
What about childless adults? Don't their feelings ever get hurt because they could never have kids of their own? They don't even get to be asked to a child-parent event???? What ??? This R.I. school supr is crazy. One kid gets his "feelings" hurt and the whole school suffers?? Get a life ! ! !
To iammeyouareyou: you are right. Single parents could team up with childless couples for outings and school events. Everybody benefits. Elderly without grandchildren do this. They "adopt" a neighbor kid to do grandparent type activities together. A huge blessing to both the child and the elderly. Childless couples and single parents could do the same.
I do not agree with banning this tradition. I attended a father-daughter dance with my grandfather when I was in school. These students could have found another alternative even if that includes bringing their mother. This is like saying we are going to ban mother's or father's day because so many children do not have a mother or a father.
Does it really help a child who feels "uncomfortable" about not being able to attend a school event to cancel it? Now all the kids will resent her because SHE'S the reason there are no more father-daughter dances. Find it difficult to believe there are NO males in this child's life who could not take her to a dance. Great way to teach your child about life mom – make sure that if she can't participate, the event is cancelled. What about the families who don't have daughters for father-daughter dances or sons for mother-son games? Those parents don't get to attend the events either.
Why not keep the father/daughter and mom/son events and also have "family dances" and "family games"? This way everyone can participate in whichever way they want.
Since when is everyone promised a perfect life. I am sorry she feels left out because she does not have a father but does she have a relative or close family friend that could take her. We are raising a generation of babies that never have to experience a negative experience. Life is not fair all of the time. When does the needs of the one out weigh the needs of the many.
Jack, I couldn't agree with you more. For goodness sake, why couldn't her mother attend with her? My husband takes my daughter every year and for the most part, the Dad's are socializing and the kids are all dancing together, eating cupcakes and drinking punch. People make such a big deal out of nothing. Kids need to learn to deal with disappointment. My mother died when I was 14. Does that mean I would want an entire school district to change something because my mother and I could not attend. Absolutely not. Her mother missed a great opportunity to teach her to be strong through something that might be painful to her. But to make everyone else suffer, is just crazy. Now my daughter might not be able to attend dances because it might be perceived as a "girl" activity. My daughter doesn't know these stereotypes, nor do I believe having a "Daddy/Daughter Dance contribute to it. She plays soccer on Saturday mornings and then on Monday, puts on her ballet shoes and attends ballet class.
The ACLU strikes again. I wonder what political party usually supports them?
I wonder.
This just might be the dumbest thing on earth. My father died when I was 8 and yeah, the lack of father-daughter school stuff was a bit disheartening, but honestly, it's sort of good preparation for future events. My dad obviously didn't walk me down the aisle or dance with me at my wedding and obviously I don't buy any presents or anything for fathers day. But I've spent more time forgoing such things now than with them, so I'm used to it. If you learn to grin and bear it from a young age, it makes the more major adult stuff easier to get through.
I'm sorry to read about your loss. I'm sure you missed him terribly but prevailed through life. I'm sure he would be very proud of you!
I agree with you Jack! A matter of fact, I am very Proud of her after reading that! I applaud you for your inner- strength!
My father wouldn't have attended a dance with me if he was threatened at gun point. Would that have wanted me to stop other fathers/daughters from attending a dance-no. One of the most important things we can teach our children is to not be envious of what others have, but to be happy with what we have.
Doesn't this say a lot about the demise of American parenting?
Twenty years ago, the community would have found a man (church leader, neighborhood activist, a local store owner) to accompany this little girl. He would have spoken about the honor of attending and the little girl's self respect would have been preserved or enhanced.
Today, apparently because that community no longer has people willing to serve in that role - or willing to request that help - they close down the event.
Do you parents see how this retards the child's development? Do you have any idea that your child's development hinges on her/his learning to cope with life's challenges? Do you get that at all?!?
"we shall not ban any student from participating in school activities based on gender". So the next school quarterback is Susan?
I am an unattractive whiny liberal. For some reason I can't get a date and feel excluded.
Fortunately the ACLU is suing my school for making me so sad.
At what point in time did all common sense and common courtesy disappear?
when the ACLU got so much power!
We never did the father/daughter – son/mother thing. Just as well- my Mom doesn't like my brother (& visa versa) & my Dad abused me. It'd be creepy. I say skip the parent/child thing (leave those things to churches or neighborhoods) & just make it for the kids only, always, especially in school. Life's not fair & personal resilience & strength are built by facing life's challenges, not making everyone else bow to your personal needs.
Whining to the ACLU when you don't get your way is getting old. I wonder what all the other kids / parents think of this poor bypassed lady? Have they had a chance to thank her for screwing up their activities? I think superintendent did exacly the right thing; cancel everything and make sure everyone knows whose fault it is.
Apparently now every male and female High school senior who cannot get a date for the prom can sue the school for having one cause their little itty bitty feelings might get hurt.
"The parent said her daughter felt left out of a father-daughter dance because she does not have a father or a father figure in her life."
You have enough to worry about at home with no father figure – don't use that to screw up everyone else's plans.
"Superintendent Judith Lundsten acknowledged that finding that balance might be “tricky.”
No not really. 99.9% shouldn't get fracked over by your idiotic policy because one or two kids feel they are missing out on something. You would think school administration would have more important things to work on – like working in the best teachers to get the best results for the kids.
I have no idea what the reason is that this little girl has no father in her life, but she is by no means the only one. How many little girls have lost their fathers in Iraq or Afghanistan in the last several years? How many fathers have died because of other causes? How many other little girls (and boys for that matter) don't have a father because of some other reason? There are probably millions of kids who fit this category across the country, and because this ONE kid felt "uncomfortable" they ruin things for everyone else (including any others without fathers)? We rely on the school system to educate our children, yet so many of those "educators" don't have the brains of an ice cube (and I hate insulting ice cubes like that).
Seriously! Educators don't make the decisions. The administration, the districts, that's who calls the shots! Teachers can't do or say anything without fear. Get a clue!
This whole misguided concept of political correctness has given the impression to many that is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.
Thank you, Archie!
Bad decision by the school district. There is way too much of this pandering going on. So she doesn't have a father. I am sorry for her, but life is not fair and the sooner she learns that, the better off she will be. SO wrong to "punish" those who do have parents so those without don't get their feelings hurt. When these children grow up and try to function in the real world, how are they going to survive? Employers don't pander to employees, nor do they worry about somebody's feelings getting hurt. They expect you to perform a job and won't be changing their policies to cater to crybabies. Again, life is not fair, that's the way it is, better to learn to deal with it now than later.
Gee if I can't be a part of it, or my child can't, then it should be banned for everyone. The ultimate is selfishness.
Hey little girl, ask your Mother where your Father is!
wow, how compassionate you are. what a great role model. thanks for the lesson.
Yes sir, a Texan through and through!
Holy moley, I'm sorry little girl, don't know if your father passed due to illness or if your mother was just loose in her...choices...but what a bad call by the district.
Now all the little boys/girls who do have both parents can't participate in traditional events because of some kid without a father.
I don't have the truck I want, so nobody else can have it either! I don't have the job I want so nobody else can have it either! I don't have the wife I want so nobody else can have theirs either!
Get the kids from broken homes some tissue, and let the dances go on as they have.
I have a great idea. Why doesn't someone complain about not being able to afford paying their bills and see if they will do away with all bills. I know I would appreciate it.
Why not cancel all dances, period? All the fatties, smellies, and downright uglies can't get a date and feel left out too! Sports teams discriminate against the uncoordinated, theater discriminates against the shy, and even speech and debate discriminates against the stupid! Don't get me started on how the marching band treats potential members who can't carry a tune. Let's face a simple fact folks: the flag girls can only handle so many rejects before they collapse under their own numbers. But I suppose it's good to cancel every activity that somebody feels isn't "inclusive" enough. Our kids may not be able to read, write, or add, but they rock at playing Xbox while stoned!
Equality is based on opportunity given, not achieved. It is socialism/communism. Study shows a child grows up more balanced and adopted to the society when BOTH father and mother figures exist in their lives. For those who choose not having a father or mother figure in their children's lives, they choose to have children grow up unbalanced and more difficult to adopt to the society. By artifically taken things like this away from children, they are forced to look one way and not diversed. It is the opposite of the idea of inclusion. Maybe one day ACLU will request all of us doing the same thing, having the same paycheck, saying the same thing, watching the same show, going to restroom, reading the same book, sychronized at the same time. OH, I think I just described communism!!!
Most of those differences disappear if you take into account SES. Basically, as long as you have at least one caring parent and don't live in poverty, children tend to grow up without issues.
Uh, choose? How many widows 'choose' to be widowed? The point isn't about the parent/child relationship, it's about defining that in gender terms. The idea was good but the solution was poor-why couldn't they redefine the event as parent/child rather than father/daughter? Probably because they wanted to make a point and thus held themselves up for ridicule. (I'm not sure what their point was but it sounds like they wanted their kids to be 'proper' ladies & roughnecks.)
"Equality is based on opportunity given, not achieved" - GREAT quote. She was not being excluded because she doesn't have a father or father figure in her life.. she had the opportunity to go and opted not to.
It really is true, that stupid people are breeding. For the record, no, your child is not special, just another lump of meat with two legs.
Amen Brad, Amen!
Brad, don't forget, you were once someones "special" little bundle. All kids are special, (hopefully), at least to their parents.
However, my kid is not so special that if I were to die, I'd want the events that would involve me with his/her school canceled as his/her feelings would be hurt due to my death. That's just dumb.
Equality...no gender based activities...all inclusive....yeah, Wt,F fellow Americans...
A thought which shows the author is nothing but a lump of meat with two legs - and MAYBE 10 active brain cells.
This is the problem with this country. One or two people complain and we hyper-react and ruin the fun for everyone. If that person complains then they can go create their own event can't they? Or at least look around and find some alternative.
Now I can see if the school absolute says no way to come unless you have her dad there that is the real issue, and they should be able to easly accomodate for this. No ban the event all together just because of one person is "offended".
Let them come with another male family member or a friend, perhaps an uncle or grandfather should be just fine Our Park District has a father-daughter dance every year and they also state that it can be an uncle or older brother whatever as long as it is an adult male and the female child. .
So the whole district has to miss out on an event that many enjoyed just because one person couldn't do it? Hey, I don't know how to play the violin, so we must ban orchestras. I can't throw a baseball 90mph – ban baseball! Hey lady...f**k you! You are exactly what is wrong with this spoiled namby-pamby cater-to-everyone society.
"namby-pamby"? – well, aren't YOU a confident man and father! You just don't get it. Let events be for both girls and boys and let them bring whatever parents/relatives they have or want. But I know, it is a drag, not having your wife cook and clean for you everyday.
Just call it a parent child day and let any parent of any gender take any child of any gender to whatever activity is scheduled. No discrimination, no kids feeling bad because their mom died in 9/11 or their dad left, and everyone still gets the benefit of a day with their kid. Easy solution and the ACLU is happy too. Why cause children pain if you don't have to? Why let the good idea go with the categorization that is hurtful (even though it wasn't intended to be)?
OMG! What's next to 'sue' about? Maybe they could come into my classroom and tally exactly how many times I ask questions from boys and girls. And then they could sue me when they found out I don't care!
this just shows how political correctness has gone bad. why does the ACLU have to dictate our lives and the laws of our country. they have taken on too much power. one can no longer have a fun event without complaints
The ACLU has an undeserved poor reputation in the U.S. They certainly messed this one up (I suspect the parent was refusing to compromise on this issue). Polls constantly show that when you take out the name of the ACLU and the description of the plaintiff most people actually support the ACLU's actions. When you put their name in it and/or a description of the plaintiff that changes.
At one point I asked someone who had worked for the ACLU about this. He said 'Most people value the rights that we defend, they just don't like *zzholes having those rights. Unfortunately it is easy to try to take rights away from *zzholes'.
I would make a post at how stupid this is. But guess what America, you made your bed, now lie in it. You've supported and let this PC junk go on for years if not decades. So if you want to get mad and blame someone, just look in the mirror.
you know, if the internet and social media existed during the civil way, freeing the slaves would have just been described as politcal correctness. Do you get it?
This girl is a hero. Do you think any kid enjoys dancing with their mom or dad???
What a stupid comment, you have no clue.
Hey Chris, your sense of humor called and wants to come home.
The mommy is raising a spoiled selfish child just like her.
The real failing was making a decision on a single complaint. There needs to be a reasonable threshold of complaints before something that affects many is changed or cancelled. Maybe if 10% or 20% of the people had complained, action would have been warranted, but one single complaint?
Agreed Uncle John, one complaint does not an issue make.
I understand the spirit of what you are saying but if - say - the school waited until 10% of the parents complained about a teacher beating the students would anybody say the district was right to wait? The district's decisions should ultimately be based on norms of ethical conduct, not simply how many people are upset (though granted at some point if too many people are upset you sometimes just have to let what's going to happen, happen).
I think the district should simply have organized a generic parent-child dance event. That way nobody has to be excluded.
I didnt get to go to homecoming or prom in highschool because at that time it was you needed a date, but did I sue the school because they couldnt find me a suitable date in time?
If I decided to complain every time I was excluded from something I would have tons of lawsuits since my childhood.
When are we as a society going to say enough is enough and put a stop to this BS?
They just did. In a very positive and forthright way.
Ridiculous. This is the left wing liberally biased politically correct world you all that voted for Obama are creating in America. Enjoy.
I didn't read anything in the article about how Obama was involved. You need to take your tin cap off an go outside of your parents basement for once in a long while.
There is plenty of liberal stupidity. There is plenty of conservative stupidity. Most stupidity is just stupidity, it doesn't have a political affiliation.
Listen moron this has NOTHING to do with liberalism. I am a liberal and will be voting Obama however I do not agree with this. So what do you have to say about that? Should I encapsulate all republicans by what one group does? Think before you speak...
@joe
its true. if one side were to completely rid themselves of the other side they would find that the percentage of fools has remained the same.
tkinism – it's difficult coming into the 21st Century. But we're here and it's not going to go away.
Is this for real? It's a joke, right?
Another politically correct croc of crap.
Next on the chopping block: Science Olympiad, because the stupid kids feel left out!
lol ! Cancel sports because of overweight kids too...
So true..
c'mon you people, think a little. No one says fat kids shouldn't try out for sports or dumb kids shouldn't compete in math olympiad. This is the school saying only kids of a certain type can do this thing. Don't you see the difference? Or maybe you just don't want to.
So because an event might allow fro some kids not to participate in ( and by the way what about an older sibling, uncle, boyfriend of mom, grandpa, or nice neighbor take her?); no one can participate. It is called wake up and figure out that not every event has to have your participation, nor is every event necessarily for you. The mom should not be teaching selfishness and that everything revolves around he kid.
Maybe another question to ask here is WHY? Why does this girl not have a Father figure in her life? Did her Father die? In which case going to an event like this should honor his memory. Is her Father one of the many dead beat Dads in the world that just don't care about his child(ren)? In which case going to an event like this would show the strength that she doesn't need a guy like that in her life. Or did the Mother simply choose not to have a Father figure present for her daughter? In which case, that is your choice Mom. But remember one thing, your daughter deserves to grow up to be the independent, strong woman that you are. Raising children as a single parent is difficult. You are doing it and should be commended for it. However, your daughter needs to learn life's tough lessons. Let her learn them. Next time Mom, YOU go to the dance with her. If they don't let you in, then I got your back for whatever action you would like to take. Please don't take this event away from the other little girls that enjoy spending this quality time with their fathers.
My father lived in another town when I was growing up. A couple of my friends "shared" their dads for these types of events. I still keep in touch with my "borrowed dads" to this day. I am 50 years old, and if these events had been banned when I was a kid, I would have missed out on more than you will ever know
Everyone seems to be focusing on the wrong aspect of this: The decision was based on gender segregation, not on being a single parent (that may or may not have been the parent's issue, it wasn't the ACLU's). Reinforcing gender roles in this way equates to teaching girls that they are second class citizens. While I know there are a good number of people who believe that deep down, they're the ones who need to get over something. Such activities have no business in public schools.
So, a dance where kids bring their opposite gender parent qualifies as gender segregation? Could you explain how that is similar to something like "no girls allowed in math class", because it seems like you're reeeally reaching there...
you and the aclu are trying to ruin everyones good time. one cry baby complains, and the aclu springs into action. aclu does more harm than good. grow up you cry baby
your life has been very disappointing hasn't it. Why don't you use your anger for something useful, instead of writing comments on CNN?
So if I am missing a limb and as a result I am unable to play football for my high school team, something I would love to do, should the team be disbanded since it cannot include me? Where do we draw the line on this slippery slope?
Of three siblings, I am the only girl. I want a sister, but I can't go to sister events, Dammit Im going to sue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then im going to sue my parents because they didnt produce a sister for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is there not a PTA?? It would be a cold day in HELL before I ever let the ACLU determine the education of my children, or what activities they are "allowed" to have or attend. The ACLU is WAY over the top and way out of bounds on this one..... Their reasoning doesn't even make any sense.... And we're all worried about the extremism in the Middle East? Looks like we have a healthy dose of it right in our own back yards.
I have no children. I pay $100 month in school taxes. Do you think I have a right to speak up on what a school can and can not do? Sure I will. I do. Tax me and you bet I will have a say so and what goes on in the school and how children should be taught.
Well said Aubrey-I totally agree!!
My daughters best friend doesnt have a father figure in her life....no one has ever denied her and her mom of going to the Best Beau Dance with Girl Scouts together. My daughters dad, and step dad have both taken the young gal with them and my daughter to the dance, on numberous occassions. It's pretty sad that some parents dont take the time and look at what they are saying to their kids. No one says they HAVE to go with mom/dad there are acception to the rules in all schools, orginaizations!..come on America Open your eyes..its about doing things with your kids. If you say your both MOM/DAD to the kiddo, then actually be there for them when they need it!
and what is this child gonna do when she isn't invited to someone's b'day party. We can't always be included in everything.
It sucks and it isn't fair but that's life.
Banning these kinds of discriminatory events is a great start but it doesn't go nearly far enough. I think that if there is a single handicapped child in that school then they should ban all sports. If any student lacks artistic ability then art class should be canceled. If any student is incapable of carrying a tune or playing an instrument then musical expression of all kinds should be forbidden. Finally, they should do away with all holidays so students who don't celebrate them won't feel left out.
There, now everyone is equal. Paradise at last.
If there are any kids in wheelchairs, then all the other kids should have their legs broken in two places. Everyone must be equal. Since we don't have magic, that means we have to drag everyone down to the lowest common denominator, culturally, intellectually, physically, and now "familially".
Completely PATHETIC ruling... Not everyone has 2 parents growing up, SO WHAT!?!?! Grow A Pair... does this parent think that she is gonna be able to "shelter" her kid from "hurt" throughout her whole life??? talk about "HOVER PARENTING"
I guess we aren't surprised the aclu got involved because of some snivelling pig's complaint.
wow, "sniveling pig", what a great mom you must be.
The Superintendant was wrong and had no backbone. This should have gone to court. We as a nation are bending over backwards to avoid offending anyone and as a result we are losing the respect of everyone. The ACLU is using the threat of expensive litigation to force schools with funding issues to back down in the face of most challenges. Is it any wonder that we are becoming a nation of extreme views?
Totally agree...how ridiculous is this ruling! All it did was cause more focus on this rather than just allowing events like this to happen...stupid, stupid, stupid. Why can't this country have traditional events without offending absolutely everyone!
Tracy...we are bending over as a nation but not backwards. As for having extreme views I disagree. Pretty soon we will only be allowed to have one view, one opinion on everything. We will be so PC, so worried about offending everyone that no one will dare voice an opinion.
Ridiculous! Anyone who would complain about being a single parent and complaining how it is unfair for their child needs to seriously think about what they are teaching that child. I am a single parent with twin son's who are now both in college. I never made excuses for them nor complained they didn't have a father or father figure. I told my son's they are not victims and they will not be treated as such. They didn't have a father but they had so much more and that all children are born with challenges they needed to meet and overcome.
Why go ruining it for everybody else and teach your child they are victims.
Get Real !!! I am a very straight mother of a girl who never went to a father/daughter dance because of her father. She is 16 now and is doing as well as, if not better than many kids. People need to get over themselves already. My daughter realizes that just because her father fell down in his responsibilities, does not mean that other kids should suffer as well. GEEZ, the American people are starting to kill me with their ugly selfishness!!
I don't think such an event should happen during school hours, but if it's after school then
I don't see the problem. The article was unclear on this point. Our school has grandparents day – it's
during school hours, and the children practice songs for the grandparents. While my childrens' grandparents
are able to come, others can't – their grandparents are dead, or don't live close enough. They feel bad every
year, and it sucks – I would gladly give up grandparents day (or have an event sponsered by the school but after
school hours) rather then see the hurt look on the kids' faces who have no one there for them.
The fact that you want to have an event after school hours hurts my feelings. I am busy after school hours, and if I had kids they would be too. How dare you suggest having an event that I'm paying for with my tax dollars at a time that I am unable to attend! If any parent were to suggest something so outrageous, then I'd have no choice but to approach the ACLU and attempt to have all school events banned.
Your tax dollars are paying for the kids to learn, not have parent events. Too bad if you're busy after school,
make time.
My niece has Grandparents that she chooses not to take to Grandparents day, she asks me to go instead. I think most kids out there have someone that could fill in to be a Grandparent for a day!!! Maybe it is the parents who don't care enough to think ahead and fill the gap. My husband filled in for other girls in my daugters classes and made it fun for all. But everyone doesn't get everything and that in itself is life, get used to it.
That would be great, except our school doesn't allow fill-ins – grandparents only. I believe there are lots
of lessons in life – enough – a public school doesn't need to set it up for some kids to feel profoundly
left out.
I really hope that superintendent Judith Lundsten has the creativity, kindess, insight, compassion and boldness to stand up to the ACLU and come up with some parent child activities that "fit the ACLU bill". ANYTHING..... Just do it!!!! It is THAT important.... and if you don't know that, you should not be a superintendant nor an educator!!!
This is ridiculous! Why ban all activities rather than making them more "PC" to include everyone? Why not make a parent-child dance? I agree with the others about offering family activities such as these dances. Why take that away because one child thought it was unfair to her? We have a grandparents day at our school every other year. What about all those kids who don't have grandparents? They are told they can bring anyone in the place of a grandparent. My dad went one year and took a little boy "under his wing" who didn't have a grandparent present. There are so many other ways around this kind of thing without just calling the whole thing off. That just shows ignorance.
You know what, little girl, life is't fair. I am sorry you don't have a Dad but now you don't have any friends because you ruined it for everyone else. If you think, Mom, that you are protecting your little girl from life's disappointments, inconsistencies, and unfairness by eliminating everything in her life that puts her at a disadvantage or *heaven forbid* makes her cry - good luck! You are going to end up with a very messed up adult.
You are right life is not fair, but that can not and should not be used as a justification for treating others unfairly. Life if full of pain, but that does not justify my inflicting pain on you. Life is unjust, but that doesn't mean that it is OK for the government or others in general to treat you unjustly. Life always ends in death - (in the end your are dead any so get over it) but that does not mean I am free to inflict death on you.
I'm sure she had at least one 'father figure' in her life, whether it was an uncle, or grandfather, or another trusted male relative or close family friend. I know of kids with lesbian parents with 'father figures'. The school could've allowed that person to step in for the dance. The ACLU and the district went a tad too far on this. I'm not hating the ACLU, but this was a small mistake on their part. It should be up to the parent to decide how their child interprets 'daddy/mommy-son/daughter' events.
Who has the right to force their own unfortunate situation on someone else?
I don't understand why they have to make the rule that it can only be the mother or only be the father. If someone doesn't have a father and wants their mother to come to the father-daugther dance, why can't they? I don't they should be banned unless the schools were denying entrance to someone who choose an alternative. If someone doesn't like the fact that a mother is bringing their daughter because the mother functions as both father & mother in the house hold, then tough cookies. The schools could easily place a note on the bottom that 'all parent/parental figures are welcome if family feels it is appropriate" and not bann a child from an event simply because they don't have a parent of the appropriate gender.
I agree Kelly. No child should be forced to be without anyone there to support them!
ACLU, please lighten up. Obviously this girl has issues since she doesn't have male figure in her life. But should we ban things because we cannot include everyone. Pretty soon we will ban pencils because the lefties will feel excluded from getting good penmanship awards because there are too many righties.
I hope that little whinebag and her mother feel real good about themselves by taking a special time between a father and daughter away. Same goes for the mothers/sons. It's those times that help build incredible memories for all involved.
Pat yourself on the back whinebag. Because I'm sure no-one else does.
First off - I'm not certain how calling a child names is helping the dialogue.
Second - what is stopping fathers from spending time with their daughters outside of these predetermined events? I get that time is precious and limited, but if people rising to this level of vitriol are indeed so keen on keeping father/daughter time sacred, why limit it to this dance?
My mother was/is unwell and couldn't participate in mother-daughter events (which hurt), and neither my father nor I really loved the idea of the father-daughter dances. We made our own cool outings, exploring different ethnic cuisines and record and book shopping.
You don't have to depend on these events - just go do it. And have some compassion for people who aren't lucky enough to have that bond.
Just what we need, more PC BS. There is no such thing as a world that is perfectly fair to all. Our schools are run by liberal folks that just don't get it. I went to Father/Daughter dances with my girls and Baseball with my boys – my daughters had no interest. Guess what? They grew up just fine and will do the same with their kids. The admins have no guts and apparently the parents are helpless...Sad
This has got to be the stupidest, most misguided and cruel thing I've read in a long while... the American family is unravelling.... we are at the bottom of educated "progressive" nations, we don't spend enough time at home with our kids... This school actually HAS something wonderful going for it that it positive and fosters parent child relationships, and they are undoing it/?? This is madness. Pure madness.... Political "correctness" has hit an all time low.
I don't have any first hand knowledge of this case, but it feels like sour grapes on the part of the superintendent. "If we can't do things the 'traditional' way we just won't do anything – See this is why we can't have nice things". What's so hard about having events where -any- student and -any- parent is invited?
REALLY??????? COME ON!!!!!! Yes that sucks for that little girl but instead of killing something a lot of people enjoy, they should do something ELSE for mothers and daughters. Im SORRY! As a father, I look forward to events like this and would not otherwise get an opportunity to do. It is nice to be with other fathers who are doing something special for their little ladies and I dont get all bent out of shape when my wife takes my girls out for 8 hours to get their hair done. That is something she gets to do.
Ridiculous...how about having Veterans or teachers, someone to mentor and take fatherless or motherless children to these events...How ridiculous that the ACLU assumes that these practices need to be eliminated. Use your God given imiagination.
the ACLU needs to finally be put to pasture... they have gotten to the point in extremism where they now do more harm that good. I wish SOMEONE..... ANYONE would get the balls to toss them out on their ear once and for all!
They have always done more harm than good.
As a teacher, I think that having us take an opposite gender child to a school dance would open a whole new can of worms, and would open up some false inappropriate contact lawsuits/charges. Other events, I think would be fine, and we actually do small group mentoring at my school with our 9th-12th grade students. This mentoring really makes a difference in our students. Why not just have "Adult Role Model-Child" events? We have an event called "Take a Father to School Day", but we say to bring any adult male figure – a cousin, a father, an uncle, a neighbor...
Seriously? What is wrong with some of these parents? I feel left out since no one asked me to the prom, so they should cancel that too...
no, but someone should have given you a bottle of rum and a BOB so you could have the same experience
Didn't some state government cancel a school prom because the district wouldn't allow a girl to bring her girlfriend/lover from another school as her date?
Even though I had a Dad "in the home" he worked long hours and didn't attend a lot of my activities. My Papa (grandfather) was a great stand in and I loved having him attend "Daddy Daughter" activities! Kids today are really getting the shortend of the stick in missing out on these relationship building experiences.
So one person ruined it for everyone else! INSANE
"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."
Let's do away with Black History month because every kid isn't black and won't experience it the exact same way. Only if every child can be included 100% equally can anything take place. No room for individuality!!!! Lets cookie cutter these little ones into the same boring obedient mold!!!!!!
Well put.
What is this country coming to?
What about kids who have two Mom's or two Dad's? I grew up with out a dad and when ever we had to do stuff
for fathers day etc I felt very left out!
i grew up without a father. does'nt mean i would ever want to force others from spending time with theirs.
If a conservative doesn't have a father, she doesn't go to the dance, if a liberal doesn't have a father, all remaining father should be hung from the highest tree so the liberal doesn't feel left out.
What a joke! Way to ruin it for everyone. Why don't you think about the kids that have parents with life threatening diseases and they wanted this to be a wonderful memory? Idiot!
There are many sides to every story. My mother has been unwell for a long time, and I had to either skip mother-daughter events as a kid or take a neighbor. Neither of those options were at all ideal. I chose the latter, because all my friends were attending, and I still recall how much that hurt. If I could have just brought my Dad, it might have been easier. Why predetermine which parent is allowed?
sorry to hear about your mom and while i understand it is unconfortable for some who don't have a father i don't get why stopping others from the time with theirs is a good answer to the problem
That's sad and I wish it wasn't the case.
I don't see, however, why that should stop others from enjoying the parents they are blessed enough to have.
I dont think it is ruined for everybody – all they have done is to give everyone the opportunity to attend with the guest of their choice.