My graduation breakdown: 'Nothing will ever be this good again'
“I don’t want this year to be over. Nothing will ever be this good again," Liz Landau thought as she approached graduation.
June 3rd, 2013
05:00 AM ET

My graduation breakdown: 'Nothing will ever be this good again'

Elizabeth LandauBy Elizabeth Landau, CNN

Editor's note: Elizabeth Landau is a health and science writer and producer for She is a 2006 graduate of Princeton University. Here she offers a personal take on the terror that can accompany such a happy milestone.

(CNN) - On paper, I was ready to graduate. In my head, though, I never wanted that moment to arrive.

Sure, I was academically qualified. I had already been through the festivities that Princeton lavishes upon its graduating seniors in the week prior to The Day: The Reunions parade, a hilarious talk by David Sedaris, an outdoor sing-along, an inspirational speech by Bill Clinton, the bestowing of honors and awards, and a prom-like gala where soon-to-be-graduates and parents danced awkwardly. Princeton really likes to celebrate things.

The final ceremonial act would, superficially, be the easiest and least meaningful: Commencement – put on the cap and gown, sit through a few speeches, receive my diploma.

But in those last hours as a student, the perky, optimistic, ready-for-anything face I’d worn for four years melted away. I completely fell apart.

“Boludita, don’t cry,” my college sweetheart told me that morning, using a Spanish word meaning something like “little stupid one” that we had adapted into an affectionate nickname.

There was much to look forward to – an overseas trip! Graduate school! This all felt remote and less appealing because of graduation.

“I can’t help it,” I told him. “I don’t want to leave. I don’t want this year to be over. Nothing will ever be this good again.”

We bid farewell so he could catch a flight and I could get to graduation procession.When I was standing alone on the sidewalk with tears streaming down my cheeks, a single thought would not go away: “I will never be happy again.”

I wish that I had known Marina Keegan, the Yale graduate whose beautiful essay about graduating has been widely cherished since her untimely death in a car accident at age 22 last year. Marina’s incredible insight and wisdom led her to write, “The notion that it's too late to do anything is comical. It's hilarious. We're graduating college. We're so young. We can't, we MUST not lose this sense of possibility because in the end, it's all we have.”

It’s clear from Marina’s essay that she loved her time at Yale. I still get teary-eyed reading her words because it sounds as though she is directly addressing 22-year-old me - I who believed on graduation day that nothing was possible anymore.


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No prom date? Go anyway!
"You don't need anyone's permission to experience life or like yourself," Kat Kinsman reminds her 17-year-old self.
June 3rd, 2013
05:00 AM ET

No prom date? Go anyway!

By Kat Kinsman, CNN

Editor's note: In 1990, Eatocracy's Kat Kinsman didn't have a date to her senior prom. Only opposite-sex couples were allowed to buy tickets, so she couldn't just pair up with a friend. She was terrified to go without a date, but decided she'd take a leap of faith. Here's the pep talk she wishes she could have given herself more than 20 years ago.

(CNN) - Dear 17-year-old self considering staying home on prom night because you don't have a date,

Oh, you poor, stressed-out, self-hating misfit girl, just suck it up and go.

It won't be the night of your life, as all those '80s movies and special TV episodes would lead you to believe. The boy you've had a crush on since junior high won't suddenly declare his hidden love for you as he twirls you across the dance floor (as it turns out, he'd rather ask someone in a tux to dance).

There won't have been a secret addendum to the ballot electing you prom queen. No one is packing pig's blood. Your "virtue" will remain thoroughly intact.

You'll eat a perfectly adequate chicken cordon bleu in the company of your coupled-up and cuter friends (one of whose "virtue" will undergo a status change after a six-pack of peach wine coolers).

You'll dance badly and happily to "Funky Cold Medina" while listening to your girlfriends whine about how their dates are ignoring them in favor of the lively card tournament at the corner table. You'll drink terrible schnapps in someone's cousin's hot tub afterward and comfort your tipsy pals as teenage romantic drama unfolds around you.

You'll also learn something pretty fundamental about yourself that night: You don't need anyone's permission to experience life or like yourself.

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Filed under: Prom • Voices